If I Could Live Again

CHAPTER 37

Deafening silence filled the entire room as soon as the princess sat down after an outburst. She gritted her teeth and stabilized her breathing slowly to calm herself down.

"Nero, can you leave us for awhile? You can go back to report to my father. I'll be there after this is settled", Elin wanted him to not hear their conversation any further. She ordered him to be as far away as possible to prevent him from eavesdropping.

"As you wish, My Lady", Nero bowed to them. Before leaving, he glared at the crown prince one last time before closing the door.

"I'm sorry, Elin. I'm a coward. I'm a fool. I should have taken the chance and try if we could have worked out. And what's worse is, maybe you would have loved me if you met me first", the crown prince continued where he left.

"How I wish you could have said all of this before! What would have happened if we knew our feelings? But now, it was all for naught", Elin got teary eyed.

"Did you say feelings?", Edric was surprised.

"Is it not too obvious, Your Highness? I have already been telling you right here and right now. Was it still not enough? Or did you think that I aimed for the position of being the Queen?", Elin looked sullen.

"So you're telling me you have feelings for me?", Edric was flabbergasted.

"Yes. But those feelings were already long forgotten", Elin avoided the gaze of Edric.

"Do I still have a chance? Will you accept my feelings again?", the crown prince was hopeful.

"Are you seriously telling me now when I already resolved myself of moving on?", she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Huh! How wierd?! I said 'moved on' when in fact there was never an us", Elin chuckled sarcastically.

"I'm already tired of giving people chances more than what they deserve. When I said I'm done, I am absolutely done! So please understand why I'm being cruel right now"

"No, It is alright. It was my mistake to begin with. I have troubled you", Edric tried to look away. Seeing her made him terribly despondent.

"We were off the topic. Let me go back to the reason why I requested your presence. You came here before to warn my father, did you not? What if I tell you that I might be able to put an end to your brother's scheme?" Elin went back to the subject they were supposed to negotiate.

"Since we have the same goal, will you join hands with me?"

"Are you not wary that I might betray you?", the crown prince was a little hesitant. Joining hands means putting her life in danger as well, so he was looking for a way to decline.

"No. That's why we have this", Elin took out a piece of paper and a small dagger.

"That's a ---", Edric was dumbfounded

"A blood contract. Whoever betrays will die"

"Why do we still need to do that?"

"I told you, trust should be earned. This is the only way for me to show you that I will not betray my words"

"We both know that your brother plans to attack both Kingdoms. If we do not stop this now, I'm not sure what the future will be. I will pose as your temporary fiance and bring with me our most trusted vanguards so you don't have to worry about me being in danger. This is a way for me to get closer to those rotten nobles and you just need to do what you can do as a crown prince", Elin was planning on slaughtering them when she had the chance. Assassinating them would be far too merciful. If she can do it more openly as possible, Elin doesn't mind being called a monster. All she wanted was to satiate her thirst for revenge.

"We can't stop this war if we don't burn down the roots, Your Highness. Just think about your people. Do you not pity them?", the princess was eager to make this negotiation successful.

She was unsure if Edric would agree with her. He was already capable of stopping everything since he only came to warn the King of Caris and not asked for his help. This looked more like a selfish request from her side but having more ally on his side would be better. The crown prince took the dagger and was about to seal the contract when Elin stopped him midway.

"You did not even read the contract!"

"Your aim are those nobles. If I decline, we might end up having a war for real and those rotten pigs might use the kingdom's people to save themselves. I may feel hurt everyday seeing you act like a true fiancee hoping that everything was real instead, but as you said, I'm still the crown prince. I should not abandon the people. Besides, you already made it clear that I don't have any more chances with you", he gently removed Elin's hand and proceeded with the contract. The princess stared at him for a moment before she took the dagger.

"If you need me, feel free to ask me anything", the contract was successful as planned and both shook hands to end the negotiation.

"Are you not curious why my father is the King of Caris and not the Duke of Vand?", Elin hesitated for awhile. She wanted to know what other people think. Someone who appeared out of nowhere became a princess one day. Elin was still unsure of her identity eventhough her eyes was clearly an obvious evidence.

"No, I will not ask unless you tell me yourself. Besides, I never knew your true self. Your beauty was so dazzlingly mysterious that I often thought you don't belong to the Kingdom. You are like a fictional character that came out from a fairytale book. So I'm not even surprised why you are here", Edric looked at her with admiration.

"Even if I do ask, will you tell me? I bet not. Those things are too personal for you to actually share. For now, I should mind my own business", Edric weakly smiled.

"It's---"

"Yes. Me knowing the truth is no longer of importance. If you deemed it beneficial, I would love to hear your story", Edric accepted just the way it is.

"Thank you for understanding as always, Your Highness", Elin stood up as the meeting was over. She accompanied the crown prince on his way out.

"I do have one tiny request", Edric appealed one last time before leaving.

"And what would that be?", the princess was baffled.

"Since I'm going to be your temporary fiance, would you mind calling me like you used to back then?"

"O-oh , of course! I would gladly do that, Ed"

"Yes. Thank you for accepting my selfish request", both of them shook hands one last time before parting. Elin was about to leave when Edric grasped her hand.

"Elin!", the crown prince did that on a spur of moment but Elin brushed him off unintentionally. She didn't mean to be rude as she did that impulsively. The Princess was about to apologize but the Crown prince apologized instead.

"I --- ahh. sorry. No, forgive me. That was awfully rude of me. It's nothing. It was nice seeing you again", Edric gave a weak smile.

"I will approach you soon, Your Majesty. Thank you for your kind consideration", Elin curtseyed to say goodbye and both of them went on their separate ways.

'She didn't even hit me that hard', Edric kept staring at his hand while walking.

'But why does it hurt so much?', the Crown prince left with a broken soul.