I woke up in a white room. Oh yeah the food coma. That buffet was good!!!! I sat up and tried to push myself out of bed I was stuck. I pushed the big red button for emergency assistance and people rushed in. Help I yelled!!! I'm stuck. Them they told me the worst news possible. They were putting me with a "I've fallin and I can't get up" button. But I dont fall. Yes we know but you get stuck a lot so we are putting you with the button and a 10 lb bucket of butter for emergencys. OK fine. I went to the parking lot with Gladys and we shoved each other into the car. The doctor said I can't eat for 2 HRS LIKE HOW CAN I SURVIVE!?!?!??!?! We got home and I went to my room to decide what to wear. I picked out a blue jumper with some pink yoga pants and yanked them over my leg fat. I decided to go to target so I can get a soft pretzels or 2 or 3 or 4 but ya my 2 hr's are up so Ima go to target. Once I got there I went to the 1 dollar item section. Ya that's right I'm FAT LAZY AND BROKE. I bought a pack of cinnamon rolls and got my 4 soft pretzels then drove home. Man its really hot out today this heat wave is making me...... BANG I heard a loud noise and I felt the back of my head, and omg someone shot me and my brains were coming out. I called 981 for help but no one picked up so much for the fire department then I remembered the button! I pushed the button and in five seconds they were here. What's the problem mam. I WAS SHOT AND IM TRYING TO KEEP MY BRAINS IN MY HEAD!!!!! They looked at my head and there we dough all over it and it turns out it was so hot the cinnamon rolls exploded. When emergency services left I tried to get out of. my car but I couldn't! My arm fat was caught in the ac. Then I remembered the butter!!!! I reached back and grabbed the 10 lbs of butter and rubbed it all over the armlo fat but is was still stuck. Gladys tugged and pulled and pushed but it was stuck! She ran inside and came back with some crowbars. She then pried the skin out of the ac and I slipped out the door. I was so hungry I could eat a cow. I looked at the butter in my hands and just started eating. I ate the whole 10 lbs of butter. I think I need to sit down for a few minutes. I was starving all of a sudden and looked around for food. Its lime Gladys read my mind she brought candy and soda. We ate a lot of food and couldn't stop but I soon fell asleep.
