• Second Chances •

3. Dark Skies

Priya slowly folded the dried clothes one by one. In the end, there was a big pile of folded clothes. She picked it up and placed it in the cupboard. Then she looked at the other pile of clothes and did the same again. It had been a long day for her. She had first completed five lectures at the institute and then helped Sara at the bakery. Now, she was doing this. 

But Priya wanted it. She wanted to be so tired, so tired that her bones would scream in agony. She wanted to get sleep as soon as she hit the bed. Otherwise, she didn't know of any other way to keep the bad thoughts away. She didn't want to think of her father. She didn't want to think about her ex. All she wanted was some peace and sleep. 

"Priya," her mother stood at the door and called her. "It's enough now. You gotta sleep. I will take care of the laundry tomorrow." 

Priya gave her a faint smile and nodded. "Yes. Good night." 

Her mother understood her need to be alone and left after closing the door. Priya sighed. She didn't enjoy doing this. But then again, she barely ever had control over her feelings. If she had that, she would have never dated Neeraj. She would have never fallen for his words. She would have never let him play with her heart like that. 

Taking a deep breath, she sat down by the window. Priya knew that it was about to rain. The cool air, the grumbling sky; everything pointed at that. Soon enough, it did start to drizzle. From her window, the rain looked great. As long as she didn't have to wade through knee-deep water, the rain was nice. She rested her head on the window and looked out. 

From her bedroom, she could partially see the main street. It was still busy. People were still out, buying stuff, travelling and just in a rush to get somewhere. Priya wondered about all of them. The people buying fruits and vegetables were probably restocking for the next day. The vendors perhaps were hoping to finish their stock and just go home. Maybe their home had peeling walls, warm rotis and welcoming smiles. Maybe their homes had abusive fathers and the smell of alcohol reeking in the air. Who knew? 

Did anyone else even think of stuff like this, wondered Priya? Did anyone have the time? She had no idea. 

She then glanced at a kid walking with his grandparent. The child couldn't stop jumping in the small rain puddles that had formed on the footpath. Priya had to smile. The rain was not for her but it did give immense joy to some people. She wondered how would that feel though, to be that happy and carefree. She once had the ability to be happy. Then she lost it all. 

A sharp breath left her lips. Her eyes stung. It was fine. She had dealt with her life well so far. She would continue to do so even now. She didn't need anyone. She would never need anyone. 

Patting her cheeks, she closed the window and walked towards her bed. She hastily set an alarm and slipped under the bed covers. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and switched off the lights. That feeling she was working towards the whole day, came. Her tired, worn-out bones screamed in pain. But the sleep remained evasive. She tried hard to keep her eyes closed but there was no sign of sleep. And to make matters worse, her mind remembered a random memory of Neeraj and her having ice cream at Nariman point.   

Priya rubbed her forehead. She really needed to stop doing it. This was so stupid and not needed. He left her. She was not supposed to carry this pained heart around. She was supposed to thank him for opening her eyes soon and happily move on. Then why was it so difficult to look at some other man and feel the same feeling of love? Why did her bones quake when she even thought of moving on? What was this madness that she had subjected herself to? 

She turned to her side and gazed out at the sky through the window. That's exactly how her life was. Dark and stormy. There was no end in sight. Perhaps, all there was in her destiny was this strange coldness and dark skies. And sadly, there was no choice. She had to accept it.