• Second Chances •

33. Ice

Ram was aware of everything around him; the warmth of the plane's seat, the light buzzing noise of the engines, the way the craft was slowly moving on the runaway. Yet he had eyes only for Priya. In the small confines of the plane, they were sitting so close to each other that he could practically hear her breathing. He was so close to her that her skin looked different to him now. Her lashes were long, Ram noticed. He had never really paid attention to them.

And then he was deeply aware of his own beating heart. Ram was glad that he was wearing three layers and gloves so that his shivering was not visible to anyone.

When he had said yes to this marriage, Ram had never thought about this. He had not thought that he was going to start noticing his wife so soon. But in just a few days, here he was.

Ram couldn't peel his eyes off Priya. She was different. Ram had to begrudgingly admit that Priya was so different from Vedika and in a good way.

Vedika was beautiful. She was delicate and there was something about Vedika that made one want to protect her.

But Priya's beauty, even though understated, reflected in the way her eyes shone. Her beauty reflected in the way she held herself. Priya's goodness was attractive. It was special.

Ram absolutely loved how Priya looked at things. Like right now, Priya was gazing at the ice-clad mountains with the glee of a two-year-old. Not caring about anyone or anything, Priya's fingers lay on the plane's small window as she gazed out of it. Ram's eyes caught the sight of the sparkling wonder in her eyes in the hazy reflection of the glass. 

Ram stared shamelessly. He wanted to remember it. He wanted to capture that sparkle in his heart. He felt like he was now responsible to keep the shine alive. 

He didn't know if the glacier outside was more special or Priya. Ram almost snorted to himself. It was a stupid question to ask really. The answer would always be Priya. She had also always stood as tall as the mountains. 

As their plane landed on the glacier, Ram couldn't help but think how Vedika would have made Instagram stories out of everything. But Priya was just absorbing it all in. She did things for herself and not the world.

Vedika's thought brought back a similar ache in his ache. If they had really ended up together, ended up marrying each other then life would have been so different. In a good way or not, Ram had no idea.

Ram gave a hand to Priya to help her disembark from the dingy plane. This time, she readily accepted his help. And the best part? She chose to clutch his palm whilst walking on the thick snow. Ram figured that it was her first experience on snow too. His grip over Priya's pam deepened. 

Would he ever get over Vedika? Would he ever allow himself to move on? If that happened, he would break his promise to Vedika, right?

But Vedika had herself ditched him. How was he at fault? If anything, he had given his all to the relationship with Vedika even when he was actively dating her and even when she left him for a better man.

Yes, Shashi did seem like a better man than him. He got to marry Vedika, he got to live Ram's dream.

A ball of ice hit the back of his neck and Ram's mind flooded with something that he often thought of. A soft cloth noose around his neck and then another loop on the ceiling fan. When his father was alive, they used to live in a decent-sized but humble home in a Juhu building. After his father died, everything crashed. And with it, Ram started to feel this acute need to hang himself to death every time he looked at their fans. He didn't have the will to live.

But then every time Shivina smiled at him, every time Brinda held his hand and kissed him, every time Adi looked at him with expectations and love, every time Nandini's vacant eyes bore into his; Ram would change his mind. He would ask himself to get his neck out of that noose and get down that stool.