• Second Chances •

42. Donkey Business

The morning felt different in Meera's house. As Ram sat on the dining table, watching Meera fuss over the breakfast, he felt like the soil after a first rain shower. He felt like after a long dry spell, the sky had finally blessed the parched earth with water and everything had sprung back to life. He wondered when was the last time he had witnessed a bustling household. Perhaps, it happened when his father was alive.

Ram vaguely remembered and heard the noise that festivals brought with them. He remembered the smell of the food, the sound of laughter and bickering, and the air feeling like home. Birthdays were always chaotic.

But after that, Ram always had breakfast in his own room. As did everyone else in the family. Festivals had been reduced to mere formalities. Special days and occasions were spent outside with their own individual friends.

Ram's house had lost the essence of a home. Ram had lost a family.

The thought of family brought back Shubham's harsh words. His chest ached. But there wasn't he could do about it.

Someday, Ram mused, he would make his peace with it. Someday, his heart wouldn't quiver like that. Someday, he would be able to smile while talking about his hurt. Till then, he was going to keep trying.

"RK!" Sandy served him a hot parantha and proceeded to smear a fistful of white butter on it.

"Sandy! STOP!" Priya yelled at her sister and moved the plate away from Ram. Before Ram could protest, she annoyingly told Sandy, "Mr. Kapoor isn't supposed to have that much butter. He eats enough junk behind my back. I am going to monitor his diet when he is in front of me at least."

On usual days, such behaviour would have irritated Ram. He didn't like it if anyone came between him and his beloved food. But somehow, Priya's concern for him felt oddly touching. Like someone cared for him? Someone thought about him? All these years, no one had bothered to worry about his eating habits, his health, his lifestyle. Now here was Priya who was obsessively monitoring everything just because she didn't want him to suffer from ill health and pain.

Ram smiled even though his throat felt choked. He happily took the new plate from Priya's hand that had a negligible amount of butter and whispered, "Thank you."

Priya smiled back like she could read his thoughts. But then Ram watched her cower and hurriedly look away. He figured that his gaze must be different. Or else she wouldn't redden that way as she slowly sat beside him.

Ram's heart felt heavy. He wanted to be happy. He was happy too. But there were a lot of things that were weighing him down. They always did. His mind and heart had always been prisoners of unexplained emotions and feelings, of people, of his past, of his present and definitely his future. But right now, those very emotions were wreaking havoc in his heart.

Why did his life need to be a series of never-ending crossroads? One person to please and then some more? When was anyone going to choose him?

Ram's thoughts went in and out of the overthinking circle as he forced himself to finish the breakfast. But as soon as they both sat in the car to go to their office, the doubts and darkness returned with vengeance.

He stared at the unmoving traffic and his eyes just fluttered close.

"Are you okay?"

Ram opened his eyes and looked at Priya. She looked concerned. He smiled at her. He then lightly placed his hand over her hand and sighed, "I am. I will be okay. I just need some time."

Priya nodded thoughtfully. Then she leaned ahead and whispered, "I checked the route. The traffic isn't moving for another hour. A crane has fallen ahead. We have all the time in the world. You can trust me with the truth."