WinterWidow - healing

Training

Trigger warning for trauma and PTSD. It is not bad but may be triggering to some people. 

When we get home, we get dressed for training. Tony sets his blasters onto zap mode and we try to complete an obstacle course without being hit by him, like laser tag except mote intense. I go first, jumping easily over the obstacles, I make it through without being hit. Steve goes after me, he does well but he slips, I laugh as over 200 pounds of super soldier falls onto the mats below. Everyone else was laughing, however Wanda tried to hide her laugh.

"Are you ok Steve? You did well." Wanda says

"I'm fine." Steve says

"Would you like to go again?" Tony asks

"No thank you, I am good for now." Steve says

Thor goes next, he slips on the first obstacle and just flies the rest of the way, we all laugh as Tony tries to tell him he can't do that. Clint makes it across without getting hit. Bucky slips and holds on while Tony shoots at him. Then he flops down onto the mats, and we all laugh. Wanda gets shot and falls off straight away, poor girl wasn't made for acrobatics, at least she can fly.

Then we fight the combat bots, they shoot at you, and you shoot back, first I do a practice alone, then Clint joins me. Even though I am mad at him we make a great team and he always has my back.

Then we train fighting, we split into teams, set our weapons to safe and spar. Tony, Bucky, Thor and Clint V Steve, Wanda, me, and Spidey, who just dropped in for training time, I think Tony invited him, he really likes that kid.

After that we do one on one sparring. My first match is with Steve, a good opponent but he can't beat me, the black widow. Then I spar with Bucky, now he is a worthy opponent. He tries to land a punch, I wrap my legs around his throat, the walls flash past as I spin. The takedown, I put him in a lock, and he taps out. Then the flashbacks hit, I curl up on the ground. Them taking Bucky away, the years of training, the years of punishment for wrong form, the punishment for seeing Bucky. Its all too much, I'm lying on the floor crying. Bucky pulls me into his arms and my shaking stops, I feel safe here, in his arms.

"Ok, training continue, Wanda come help." Tony says

Bucky carries me upstairs and we sit on the couch to talk.

"If you are ok now, I'm going back to supervise training." Tony tells me

"Yeah, I'm ok, I'll be back down soon." I say

"Ok take your time, I'll see you later." Wanda says

"Hey Nat, I'm here for you, if you want to talk." Bucky tells me

"I'm ok, the flash back only happened because I was sparring with you, I will be fine on mission." I respond

"Nat, how are you mentally?" Bucky asks

"I'm scared Bucky, I keep seeing the moment where I lose you, I couldn't come back I left you there alone for years." I say. Bucky hugs me tighter

"It's ok Nat, it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could do, I survived 70 years, seeing you for a few made it all worth it, plus we re together now and that is all that matters." Bucky tells me

"Thank you, Bucky, I'm going to go shower now, you should go back and train." I say. The words I love you waiting on my lips, but they won't be said, not yet.

I walk away to shower.