Ruedelia's Repose

T H R E E

I sulked in Tommy's arms as he rubbed my back affectionately.

"It's okay, Rue."

I frowned. "No, it isn't! He beat me.", I fussed, glaring over at Silas from across the table where he stood arms crossed, with a smirk on his face as he watched me wallow in my loss.

I stuck my tongue out at him and his smirk grew into an amused smile.

"I could stand for a rematch.", he offered, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"You're just trying to make me look bad.", I grumbled, and Silas didn't bother correcting me. He only raised an eyebrow in a challenge that I couldn't ignore.

I scowled. "Fine.", I gave in. "But only because I know I'm in need of an ego check.", I said, still eyeing him.

He snorted. "Whatever you say, Williams."
•
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Twenty minutes later, I was still a bit salty about losing to Silas twice, but the conversation that had come out from my loss was worth it. I'd wanted a reason to talk to Silas and I'd gotten it by some grace of the universe.

My brothers, Milo, and Jace were all talking about their last track meet over the game of pool they were playing, and Oliver and Tommy had moved back to their close positions on the couch from earlier.

I didn't know what they were talking about but they looked content, and that was enough for me.

Silas and I had moved across the room to where two giant orange bean bag chairs occupied a secluded corner I hadn't seen earlier, and we'd been talking since we sat down.

It seemed that playing pool together had given Silas the opportunity to be comfortable around me, and I was grateful—even if I had lost twice to him in pool.

So far, I'd learned that Silas had moved from New York his freshman year of high school to here a month or two after I'd done what I had—though he still had no idea that the rumors he'd heard about my being a murderer were true. I knew because he didn't look at me with the same enraged pity everyone who cared about me did when it was brought up, or with the same fear people who didn't know the reason behind my sin did.

With that said, I didn't know if I wanted him to know the truth. It felt good to just sit and listen to him tell me about his life without him tiptoeing around me like he was afraid I'd break. I'd dealt with people thinking I was fragile before, and I didn't look forward to it happening again.

So I tuned out my worried thoughts and focused on listening to Silas.

He talked about how his parents' jobs required them to travel constantly, and how he didn't want to move around like that, so he'd convinced his parents to let him stay with his aunt and uncle and his two cousins, hence his move to the area.

He said he liked how rural and calm everything was since he'd lived in the city most of his life where people were constantly on the move, then he talked about how much he loved football.

It lead me to the question: "Why football?", and Silas shifted on his bean bag and sighed, looking off into the short distance between us and the door to the room we occupied.

"I enjoy the rush.", he said, and the answer was so simplistic I found myself even more enthralled by him than I usually was.

His replies were always so straight forward and thoughtless, like he didn't feel the need to overthink anything—like it wasn't necessary.

Things were how they were for Silas and that was that—such a far cry from how I lived my life. Constantly worrying and overthinking and doubting. I never gave my self a break, but Silas seemed completely content with his life and how he lived it. He went where his decisions led him and he didn't question it.

We were complete opposites.

From our contrasting skin tones, to our genders—I was heavy rain, lightning and thunder. The harsh, whipping winds and the warnings nature gave you before catastrophic natural events.

Silas was the sky after a hurricane—slow and gray and calm. Peaceful. He was a gentle breeze flowing through a flower-riddled meadow, the light warmth of the sun on a cloudy day. He was the quiet of late nights and early mornings.

We each occupied a side of the same coin.

I was anxiety, dread, and fear; Chaos brought on by less than ideal past experiences and trauma-induced combative readiness.

Silas was freedom from oppressive thought and emotion; Harmony and tranquility. The eye of a storm.

Silas was a repose that I craved, and I knew I wouldn't stop until I had him in some way or another.

The thought was surprising, and I blinked and focused back on Silas, only to find him already watching me, a curious look inhabiting his deep gray eyes.

"What were you thinking about?", he asked, and, truthfully, I replied, "You."

If I wanted to be closer to Silas I had to be honest and upfront about everything he asked me because relationships—platonic or otherwise—weren't built on secrets and lies and miscommunication.

"Me?"

"Yes.", I nodded, and when he asked me why I said, "Because you intrigue me."

Silas hummed thoughtfully at my answer, and a minute passed before he said, "You intrigue me too."

For a moment, we sat in silence. Basking in our confessions and wondering what they meant, before Silas shifted forward.

"Would you like to go on a walk with me?", he asked, and I didn't hesitate to say yes.

I wanted nothing more than to be wherever Silas was going. I felt like a magnet when it came to him, and for as long as I'd known Silas that had been the case.

So, I stood when he did, ready to leave the house that was still thumping with music I didn't recognize to get some fresh air but we were stopped short, unsurprisingly.

"Where are you two going?", Jordan questioned, his voice holding a note of brotherly suspicion and distrust, but Silas didn't bat an eyelash at my older brother's tone. He didn't even look surprised that Jordan had questioned him.

"For a walk.", he spoke evenly, his voice betraying nothing about how he may feel about being confronted by the most intimidating person I'd ever met.

"Where?", Jordan pressed.

"There's a park up the street. About a ten minute walk from here.", Silas answered.

"How do you know that?"

"This is Grace Tim's house. I used to sleep with her junior year.", he stated.

Silas answered every question my brother threw at him without hesitation and with a confidence I knew irked my brother, but Jordan didn't say anything more.

He went back to playing pool with Hakeem, Milo, and Jace, freeing us from the intensity of his interrogation.

I huffed out a laugh and caught Tommy's eyes just before I left the room. I fought laughter as I realized he was making his 'get some' face.

I shook my head as I closed the door behind me and followed Silas down the steps, out of the front door, and into the cool night air.