Break Me (Doctor Who Fanfiction)

Chapter 13 ― The Craving

***95 VOTES FOR CHAPTER 14***

Hey hey! Sorry for the wait, but the votes weren't really coming in very fast. Anyways, can't you just smell the schools-almost-over in the air? Less than a month for me and then I'm moving out of my parents house :O And prom is sooo close! Got my hair dyed today for that special day ;P

I hope you enjoy! And good luck on your finals :D

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CHAPTER 13

THE CRAVING

Things with the Ponds has gotten pretty routine for me. The fact that I didn’t do much was still the same, but now I spent a considerable time chatting with my mum. Rory was often gone at work in the hospital and Amy never held a job for very long which lead to day in and day out girl talk. It was fun because since we were about the same age, we had a lot of common interests. It wasn’t at all like when we were in the TARDIS together, it was better.

I told her about Jack and she swore that if she ever sees him, she’d ripe his balls off which made me laugh a lot.

Trust is, I didn’t really care about it anymore. I never really had high hopes that it would work out between him and I. He was a sort of rebound for the Doctor, nothing serious and nothing that could last more than a few months.

“And what about the Doctor? If he came here to Earth and proposed, what would you say?” Amy asked when I admitted being over Jack.

“It’s not a very difficult question, I would say yes in a heartbeat,” I shrugged.

“And what if you were married for 5 years and had kids and he popped up and proposed? Then what?”

“Seriously, mum, are you quizzing me on how much I love the Doctor?” I rolled my eyes at her.

“Yes! Now answer the question,” she insisted.

I sighed as I looked down at my hands a little shamefully.

“I don’t think I could ever marry someone else. Ever. I would spend my life wondering where he is and if he ever thinks about me and I would feel guilty, because I’ll never truly love the other man and guilty because I’ll feel like I was somehow cheating on the Doctor. So let’s say I was married and had kids, I would still go away with him,” I replied.

A long silence made its way in the room. Amy looked a little disappointed.

“You know, I wish better for you than that. Than waiting for someone who’s never going to come back. Than never being truly happy because there is only one person who can make you happy and he’s gone. I just... I just wish you could move on, AJ... I know it’s hard, I’m trying to move on as well. The truth is, we are wasting our lives and we need to get our heads out of the clouds,” she said softly.

“You want me to get over the Doctor?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I want.”

“It’s never going to happen,” I replied.

I knew she had a strong connection to the Doctor too, but somehow, I felt like she was capable for getting on with her life. And I wasn’t.

As much as I loved spending hours talking to my sweet mother, I felt like I was still missing something. Something essential to really feel right inside. Upon asking myself if it was the Doctor, I got a gut feeling that it wasn’t him. And I found it odd that it wasn’t that.

It was only when River stopped by a few months in living with Amy and Rory that I realizing what my heart was calling for. She sat us around the living room and told amazing stories or other worlds and times and wonderful people she met along the way. That’s what I was missing! Adventure! I couldn’t stand being in one place for so long anymore.

The need had become so powerful that whenever someone just went to the market, I wanted to go with them just to leave the house. I would volunteer to go to the corner store to buy anything that was missing and one night I even found myself at a loud and crowded club with Amy. I was getting desperate I guess.

One day, Amy and Rory asked if I wanted to go to the compartment store. I was quick to get off the couch and put my shoes on.

It was dull following Amy and Rory who talked about all kinds of things that didn’t interest me. I walked behind them with my mind going all over the place, looking for something to do. But what can you do in a compartment store? Eventually, Amy turned towards me and handed me some money.

“Here, all your clothes is too big, go buy yourself some nice things,” she smiled.

And feeling like a child getting her allowance, I took the money happily.

“Thank you,” and I walked off towards the clothing section.

As I looked at the racks of t-shirts and jeans, my mind was once again wondering somewhere else, not really paying attention to what was in front of me.

It was only when I got a glimpse of a red bow tie that I knew where to get my adventure. 

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