The side effect of dying

Part XIII : I'm sorry

*Nick's POV*

I couldn't think straight.

No. I won't leave Tori alone. Not now not ever.

But if it means saving her and hindering her pain ...

I shook my head.

No.

"Nick, what's wrong?" Mike, a good friend of mine, asked during chemistry.

"Huh? Sorry, I'm a bit distracted." I mumbled and stared down at my book.

Mike chuckled. "I noticed."

"Hey, man?"

"Hm?" He was concentrating on the chemicals we were suppose to mix.

"Would you ever leave Anne?"

He was surprised by my answer because he poured too much chloride in the water. "How did you come to that question?"

"Nothing." I said quickly. "I was just curious."

Mike pursed his lips before answering. "I wouldn't leave my girlfriend alone. Ever. If that's the answer you're looking for." He paused. "You're not leaving Tori Gibbson, are you?"

I looked away and shrugged.
Because I didn't know either.

^

The Romeo and Juliet play will be held tomorrow already.

After weeks of pure ridiculousness and tights, we were ready.

Well, I'm not.

Coach Donald gave me an earful everytime I was late during the training.

I stayed with Tori but everytime I saw her squeezing her eyes shut in pain, I wanted to kick myself.

I'm the reason behind this.

During the general rehearsal of the play, Tori was breathing heavily in the corner.

"Tori," I whispered and pulled her close in my arms. She buried her face in my chest and tried to breathe calmly.

"Why don't you stay home?" I suggested nonchalantly.

She jerked her head up and held my gaze. "No, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Victoria!" I snapped and released her.

"I am." She replied passively.

I wanted to say something back but then, Miss Hastings walked up to us.

"Tori, dear, you're going to play Juliet tomorrow." Miss H said.

"I thought Penelope is going to play her?" Tori frowned.

"Well, she won't. C'mon, were going to rehearse now."

Penelope can't?

I thought she wanted to play Juliet all her life? Didn't she just warn me yesterday not to screw up the goddamned play?

After I brought Tori home, I headed to Penelope's place.

She was sitting at the front porch, looking at some photographs. She didn't even bother looking up when I slid down next to her.

"Hi." I began.

Penelope eyed the photo of us from last year and sighed. "Hey."

"What happened?" I demanded.

She didn't answer, instead she placed the photograph back in the scrapbook.

"Pen, talk to me." I whispered.

"She told me." Penelope whispered sadly. "Tori... she's dying." A tear escaped her eyes and suddenly, she began to sob. "Fuck, I didn't even know her that well but I know she's a good person. She doesn't deserve this."

I gently wrapped my arm around her. Tori told her but not to Gus. Thank god.

"Ssh, everything will be fine." I lied. "I know it's hard now but-"

"Stop lying!" She pushed me away, her eyes were now with full of tears. "Just stop, Nick! I know you're dying too! You're dying because you fucking love her. Why don't you end her pain?! God, STOP LYING!" With that, she stormed away, shutting the door behind her loudly.

It's true. I'm lying. It wouldn't be fine. Tori is dying and there is nothing I can do anything about it.

Except for one.

///

The play is going good so far. Not one mistake. The auditorium was fully packed with parents, guests and students.

Tori was beautiful, dressed as Juliet. Her platinum hair was braided down her back and she was wearing little make-up. The way I always wanted her.

I grabbed Gus' arm before the show starts and cleared my throat. "Dude, I need you to do a favor for me."

"Sure, unless if it's springing in for you. I would rather die."

"No, it's about Tori. I want you to ... take care of her." I gulped. Gus stared at me funnily. "What?"

I shook my head, recalling Penelope's and Mr.Gibbson's words. "Nothing. Just take care of her, hm?"

I turned around and didn't even bother to wait for his answer.

I tried very hard to avoid Gus' gaze for the remaining play. However, he was watching me like a hawk while I was preparing myself for the last scene.

The scene where Romeo finds his Juliet sound asleep in a flower decorated coffin.

It was hard because I just couldn't see Tori lying lifeless in that shitty coffin because I know it would happen soon.

Miss H gave me the cue to answer.

"Ah, dear Juliet,

Why art thou yet so fair? shall I believe
That unsubstantial death is amorous,
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps
Thee here in dark to be his paramour?
For fear of that, I still will stay with thee;
And never from this palace of dim night
Depart again: here, here will I remain
With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here
Will I set up my everlasting rest,
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!
Here's to my love!" [(c) William Shakespear]

I drank the poison and kissed Tori chastely on her parted lips.

I didn't realise that I was crying. For real.

The play continued on and on, and then, when we were both peacefully dead, the curtains closed. The audience went wild.

"You were great." Tori kissed me passionately and smiled. I couldn't smile back.

The curtains reopened so we could bow to the audience.

Once, we were backstage and people started shuffling so they can clean up the set, I pulled Tori aside and gazed at her beautiful eyes.

"Victoria," I began. This is the hardest thing I'm going to do. "I'm sorry."

Fear and panic crept into her eyes mixed with water. "No."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I whispered and placed my hands on either side of her face. "I love you but I want you to live. I want you to rest and you are unable to do that because of me."

I gently wiped the tear running down her cheek with my thumb. "I love you, Tori. More than anything. I'm sorry."

^^

I'm so sorry for updating this late! I got busy with school and stuff. I hope you liked this though :)

Please comment and vote <3

xoxo, SkyxNiall xx