Maybe when I'm better at life, I can try again.
Thought you could trust yourself, moving to the UK and all. What's the worst that could happen? Run into a man who turned out to be a famous streamer and crash his meetup? Now that would be a show.
ori...
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How strange. No one ever stared at you like that, not for that long. He was beautiful, his face is pretty, his hair fluffy. Come on, anyone attracted to guys would pinpoint their type on that very boy from the train. He probably wasn't even worth it, that pretty face of his could get him anyone that he desired.
Stepping off the train, onto the cold platform in the underground, he still couldn't leave your mind. He stayed there for a very long time, the image of him admiring you burned in your head. Not even paying rent. Goddammit.
It was pouring harder in London, umbrellas crowded the streets, headlights reflected off of the slippery cobblestone roads. So many people, too much to deal with. It was awful weather to try and tour, so you walked around some strip malls.
Each store was so unique in its own way, colourful, light spilling out of the windows, music blaring from beyond the doors. Some were clothing stores with big, exaggerated designs, some were book stores with new and old-looking books. Nothing that interested you though; you stood at a window, looking inside blankly at a closed shop. Empty.
Empty, like how you felt. You told yourself that you moved here to get away from healthcare bills, but you were searching for something. Some interest, some drama in your life. It seemed so boring, and here you were standing on the side of a street in London, staring inside an empty store. It all seemed so grey, everything around you seemed grey.
23 going on 18. Can't be 18 your whole life.
A cheer erupted from across the street. You turned around and saw an open bar, people dancing, having fun. Although you knew you didn't have anyone to party with, why not stop there for a drink? You found a crossing in the street and stepped inside the bar.
It was dimly lit, neon lights glowing on people's faces. You found yourself a seat and asked for a drink, not remembering how much alcohol people usually put in it. When you made it at home, there was only a shot or two. You kept thinking about the man from the train, why was he staring at you. That question rang in your head over and over until you found yourself getting drunk.
You leaned back in your chair, feeling your senses slowing down and nearly disappearing. It felt like being pulled into a void. You tried so hard to stay out of that darkness, but soon, the void consumed you, and you blacked out.
