How to Love Backwards

five | anna

The halls gradually get quieter and quieter as students scurry to the last period of the day, their shoes shuffling and squeaking against the tiles until I'm left alone in an empty hallway. The bell rings, but I barely hear it over my own racing heartbeat, worry and panic settling in my chest, like a child finding comfort in the dark.

There hasn't been a single message from Callie since this morning. Not since I reminded her that we had a math quiz and she replied with a girl emoji followed by a green pistol emoji letting me know that she had not studied for it at all.

Neither have I heard from Quinton who was active on Snapchat thirteen minutes ago, except he's left my snap on delivered for two hours. He messaged me apologizing for not giving me a ride, promising peach rings as compensation. I refused because there's no need for him to go through the trouble, after all, he's the sick one. And then that was the end of it.

Or at least it should've been, but here I am, asking myself: Have I upset him? Is he ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? As if the answers I'm looking for would be given at this very moment. I just want to make sure he is happy and if I've done something to offend him.

I'm sure it's all in my head. I mean, he is sick. This is awful. I wish Callie was here. She would tell me right from wrong, rational from irrational. She would tell me I'm exactly right and not to ignore that gut feeling. But she is not answering any of my texts so the only thing I can do is go off of what I think she would say.

Screw this, I decide then. I'm calling her and if she doesn't answer then I'm going to—

As I make my way around the corner, in the middle of searching for Callies contact, I hear muffled voices in the distance that causes me to stop in my tracks. Except it isn't who is talking that captures my attention, it's who they're talking about.

"Did you hear about the party that the Houghton brothers are hosting tonight? I heard it's going to be even better than the last one." A boy with a side smirk says to the innocent girl with an awe-struck expression, kneading his hands through his afro. "Maybe meet up there and we could get to know one another."

Barf. This guy has zero game yet somehow this girl, who could do so much better is falling for it. I want to tell her to not even bother, she's just going to end up with her heart broken.

"The boy with the fluffy hair right and the one that's been dating that girl on the swim team since they were potty trained." Sweet potatoes! That's a long time to be with someone. No way someone could date for that long and not get tired of them.

"Oh, yeah! I heard about it from Kingston who's on the baseball team with the host party. Brody Houghton, I think his name is."

Wait a minute. I'm on the swim team. I'm the it couple they were talking about. And the hosts' brother, Brody Houghton? That's my boyfriend's brother!

My blood freezes in the realization of it all. But, but, but...

Quinton is hurling his guts out so how in the fruit flies is he hosting a party? More importantly, why didn't he tell me?

Why didn't he invite me?

"I'll definitely be there." The girl says with a soft smile, and a twinge of pink lights her cheeks.

"Is there a reason why you're stalking freshmen right now or should I report this to the police before they go missing?" I jump at the voice, almost losing my balance on these stupid heels that I chose to wear this morning.

"Callie!" I practically throw myself at the dark-haired redhead, whose real roots are starting to grow in. "Where have you been?"

"Get off of me." She grumbles, pushing me off her gently enough so I don't stumble or loselose my balance. "I would say it's nice to see you too but we just talked this morning and talked on the phone until one in the morning."

If there's one thing you should know about Callie it's that she absolutely hates hugs. Any form of affection, she loathes. Her love language is more to be described as gift giving, but you're the one gift giving her. More specifically: with free food. She's a show not tell kind of person, the exact opposite of me.

For example, this is how our conversations usually go. I'm an overly affectionate person and I sometimes— most of the time— will throw an "I love you." at her at the end of every conversation and she'll respond with either, "I hate you too." or "that's unfortunate."

That's Callie for you. Never expect a kind response. Always be prepared to be humbled.

"Now is not the time for jokes! Where have you been and why do you look like a teenager took a dump right in front of you in the middle of the hallway on your way here?" I ask, noting the stress on her face immediately.

"Oddly specific but I can say the same about you... I think." Callie says unsurely. "Why so glum chum?"

"You first." I nod at her. She needs this.

Callie lets out a long exasperated sigh. "Where do I even begin?"

"The beginning would be a good start but I'm not the narrator here." I shrug and she shakes her head, her shoulders tense with irritation as she dives into a step-by-step of what happened with Principal Brown.

"And he said I needed a tutor because I'm dumb and then said he already found me one. Which was okay, I guess but then he was like oh you have to meet up tomorrow in the library after school and I was all like I can't because I have work then and he was like well call it off unless you want to stay back another year.

"So now I have to meet up with this damn tutor that I don't even have the time for and it's just going to be a waste of my time anyway because I'm stupid and you can't teach a stupid person. It just doesn't work like that." She blurts out all in one breath and I can tell she feels a little lighter now.

I blink rapidly, absorbing all the information into my little brain. "Wait, he called you dumb?"

"What? Oh no, that's what I called me."

"Oh." I drawl out in an unsure manner, trying to reroute myself because I got lost. "So whose your tutor then?"

She shrugs and shakes her head. "His name is Vincent Atherton. No idea who that is."

"Holy sacred macaroons! You're joking." I gasp.

Callie rolls her eyes, her lips twitching as she fights a smile. "You're so dramatic. I'm not joking, why?"

"Come on, let's get you some food," I say, waving her to follow me as I head in the direction of the cafeteria. "It seems we have a lot to talk about."

"Uh, where are you going? The cafeteria is that way." I stop and turn to see Callie pointing in the opposite direction of where I'm going.

"I knew that," I say, walking the right way this time. "I was just testing if you knew that, like the truest friend I am."

"Don't lie to yourself like that." Callie snorts, following right behind me. "So, are you going to tell me why you look like someone took a dump right in front of you... or whatever you said, now or..."

"I said why do you look like a teenager took a dump right in front of you in the middle of the hallway on your way here?" I remind her and then I let out a long dramatic breath. "And oh, where, oh where, do I begin?"

In response, she playfully shoves me and I laugh. It's at that moment, I know that everything is going to be okay.

Because I have her.