TLDR: Your boyfriend tries to explain his recent absence after a viral video, so you surprise him with your own secret.
AKA: I was in a silly, goofy mood and felt like writing senseless drabble.
———————————————————————–
"Why isn't this weirder to you?" He asked as he stopped pacing back and forth and finally stopped in front of where you were sitting. He was explaining his entire life story from the moment he was born and putting extra emphasis on recent events, and you were just sitting there, one leg crossed over the other, thumb under your chin, index finger rested against your temple as you stared up at him and listened intently.
Well, how could you put this delicately?
You cleared your throat, "You know how I told you I'm a computer programmer?"
"Yeah," he nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"It is so funny you ask that," you chuckled a bit. "So, I technically am a computer programmer."
"Technically?" He raised an eyebrow, "What, are you, like, some evil hacker or something?"
"No. I mean, General Ross thinks I'm evil, but I think I'm a delight. He's just bitter because I call him out constantly. He's a cunt."
"You're losing me."
You nodded your head and stood up from your chair. You moved him to sit in your seat as it was now your turn to pace back and forth and explain your story.
"So, around the time of the Blip, my hair was a little different, I wore glasses, totally different wardrobe style... I looked super different." You cleared your throat, "Not only did I look super different, but I also was blipped away for a bit, as you know."
"Right."
"And I have super dead parents."
'Okay..." He narrowed his eyes wondering where you were going with this. "Are you Batman?"
"Oh, no! I'm a Stark!" You laughed nervously. "Hi, I'm (Y/N) Stark. My dad's Iron Man. My mom was a practicing bruja, witch, who had a super tight connection with Atabey, um, my family's kind of got colonizer-ruined-Taino-lives vibes.
"Sorry. Getting off track because this is awkward for me to explain. What I mean to say is my dad's Iron Man, my mom's a witch, both are dead, but I'm still alive and you might know me as (Y/N) Stark, the kid who went missing after her husband 'died', fuckhead –"
"Is Captain America not dead?" Shang-Chi blurted out in surprise. "Wait. What? Whoa, I have to tell Katy–"
"And I'm the Avenger known as Terremota," you fanned your hands dramatically at your sides. "I've got seismic powers. I make earthquakes and shit. It's very much 'good vibrations' all up in here. I'm sorry. Truth-telling makes me so awkward."
He blinked several times as he digested this information, "So the entire time you've been on the West Coast you've actually been a Stark and an Avenger in hiding after the Blip?"
"Yeah. I kind of lost it when my dad died and my husband left me for a pencil skirt in the past. Made an earthquake that shook the East Coast and Middle America. My therapist recommended I go on a sabbatical from all things Avenger-related and fight-related. So here I am! With you. An assassin."
"Whose father's organization was hired to kidnap your father."
"And then whose moniker was totally used to terrorize my family! Yay!" You clapped your hands together. "Oh, that feels good to say."
"I can't believe you didn't tell me. I can't believe I didn't notice! I always wondered why you paid for everything."
You shrugged, "Where else is the money going to go? And hey, you didn't tell me anything either! We're both shitty secret keepers."
He hummed and stood up in front of you as he took your hands in his and squeezed them. "You know, I can't believe you're an Avenger. You could've saved me an awful lot of time."
"Maybe, but now you have a great and mildly depressing story to tell. Welcome to your superhero origin, Shang-Chi," You smirked and looked up at him, "Questions?"
"So many. You?"
"Too many to count," You nodded. "How should we do this? Write them down? Oh, wait for Katy and go drinking so we can get this all down and explained at once?"
Actually..." He hoisted you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you off to bed. "I was thinking we could talk more about those good vibrations you mentioned earlier? Maybe even a demonstration."
You hummed, "I think you missed the point of my West Coast Avenger origin story."
He shrugged his shoulders, "Feel free to remind me? We can do this over, and over, and over again."
You gazed up at your boyfriend as he smiled mischievously down at you. Shaun, sorry, Shang-Chi was not what you had expected. There were signs, of course, that he had something hidden. You could tell some nights by the way he slept, a face fixated in pain as he slept through nightmares, much as you had seen your teammates and ex-husband do in the past.
He was always so alert, and he often opted to take the side of an exit or be near the windows, almost like he was constantly in waiting for something to happen. Even his body had questionable scars that you had opted to ignore since he typically didn't say anything about yours out of fear of bringing attention to his own.
With a short sigh and a chuckle, you reached up and cradled his cheek, "Sure. On one condition."
"Anything."
"Can you teach me that jacket trick, Bus Boy? It was fucking awesome."
While you cackled in his face, Shang-Chi tossed you on the bed and jumped on top of you in a frog splash that had you shrieking with laughter. He tickled you, shouting playfully that he was not an object just to be used for your amusement.
He then stopped himself, "Except for now. Now is fun time."
Yes, fun time indeed.
