The End Of All Good Things

Part 1: Going back home

Wednesday it is, your most awaited day. This is the day where you will be going back to Korea, you'll continue your work there as an animator and digital artist. After you studied in Canada, you decided to go back home and live your remaining days in there. Why remaining days? Well... you set a timer for yourself, you've planned it all. How things will go, but enough chitchat and spoiling of the film.

As you walk around the airport in Korea, people have been hugging each other- telling each other how they missed each other, while you? You look like a lost potato. Who can blame you though, you spent half of your life in Canada but you never lost your knowledge in talking in Korean.

You walk and walk and walk, until you heard someone call your name.

"Y/n!"

You looked to your left and saw a bunny rushing towards you, as she gets closer- you were engulfed by a tight hug, the one that you've been missing for years.

"Noona, thank you for fetching me"

Your bright smile never fails to bring her in the summer lands, where everything is okay. She placed a hand on your shoulder and scolded you again for calling her 'Noona'

"Y/N I told you to just call me Irene, or Joohyun"
"Well, how about I just call you Hyun?"
"Even better than noona"

You two shared a smile, the smile that she will surely cherish whenever she sees it. It's been years since she saw you smile in front of her. Until you left to pursue greater things away from your hometown, but hey! At least your back. For a meantime, unfortunately.

While heading to your hotel, the both of you never failed to talk about the things that you two have missed out with each other. How your careers have turned out and how happy your memories were when you two were still young.

Smiles and laughter never left the both of you, the walk was pleasant and light. It has been years since the two of you talked like this.

"So y/n... I'm glad you finally came out and got your hormonal treatment"
"Thanks Hyun, it wasn't an easy task to open up to my parents but at the end, I was able to support myself and my Testosterone shots"

But one question made your heart sink.

"How are they doing? What did they say about you coming out as a transman?"
"Well...."

You were hesitant at first, because the depressing memories came flashing back in your memories. They didn't really liked you for being a part of the Transgender community, they were Christians and conservative ones. All your life you were told to stay away from Queer people, fearing that your soul too would burn in hell for being one. But little did they know, it crushes your soul every day, knowing that you have no place in your family. They despised you, at the end, you came back in Korea to live on your own.

"... we did not ended in good terms, I came back here to live on my own. They told me that I'm free to leave and never come back..."

Irene looked at you with a sad and worried expression on her face, she knows that your family is strict when it comes to these things- she worries about your state.

"... So in other words, I'm disowned. I will be living with the name of y/n Lee from now on. Byul is out of my birth certificate"

You sighed in disappointment, but Irene gave you an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Y/n... but don't worry, I will not leave you. Not like how they left you, I will support you even your hormonal treatments"
"Oh, no need for that, Hyun. I want you to treat yourself instead"
"Nonsense, you deserve support too"

As you two talk about what happened to you, you've reached your hotel and bid your goodbyes to each other. She didn't forget to give you a hug before she went back to her dorm with her members. While you? You're back with your dangerous thoughts. Things that shouldn't exist in someone's mind, but not today. Those things will not happen today. Not yet, it's not yet the time.

You plopped yourself on your bed and felt your body screaming for rest, but your soul craves for something more... permanent.

After some hours of sleeping, you woke up in the middle of the night.

"Great... another random wake ups"

You checked your phone and it's just 2:30 in the morning, the usual time where your mind randomly wakes up for no apparent reason.

You opened your drawer and took out your medications, as you tap the bottle on your hand- more than 3 tablets slid down the opening. You were scared. You're worried. Temptations started screaming in your head, telling you to swallow everything in an instant. Darkness started to creep in your mind and slowly blurs your clear thoughts, is this how it will end?

But before things got out of hand, the sound of your phone woke you up from your horrible thoughts. You quickly placed the excess sleeping tablets back in the bottle and took 2 tablets instead, then you checked your phone after placing your medications inside your drawer.

"Hyun? She's still awake?"

It seems like even the universe knows your plans well, the gods above used your closest friend to help you stop yourself.

You read her text.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow awaits your beautiful smile"

Indeed, the universe created a human being that will remind you to live on and continue. You smiled at that simple text and replied.

"Thank you, Hyun. I'm very sure the dark skies would love to see you sleep peacefully tonight"

She was the sun, you were her moon. But the sun never saw what the stars sees every night, it's you and your sufferings. Who were the stars? None other than the things that kept you alive; the things that kept you from poofing into dust. Your medications, your hormonal shots, your psychiatrist, your psychologist and your artworks. Those were your stars.

After a short while, you felt your eyes closing again. Finally, some sleep. Some artificially made sleep.

Goodnight, Y/N

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Potato author here! I just wanted to tell you guys that I really wanted to create a transgender character for my story, I hope this will somehow connect to the trans folks out there. But hopefully, not the ending. I don't want you people to connect to that.

Anyways, happy reading! :))