Bhekokwakhe

chapter 15

BHEKOKWAKHE

I glance at Kagiso’s body as the ground shudders when he falls on the ground.

“Letha ibhakede lamanzi, ukwenza lo mfo avuke” (Bring a bucket of water, to make this guy wake up) – I bark an order to the Doc. He stares at me puzzled.

“Shesha Bhuti, this guy must wake up and face the bitter consequences of his actions. We must perform an emergency C-section. He must be fully aware of what is happening under the sun so that he can watch the results of his doings. This woman would be left with a scar of a pregnancy of a child she wouldn’t hold” (hurry up brother) – I grumble, going through the equipment and getting everything ready. He leaves.

I hold Kenosi’s hand who is now sweating, her forehead is damp. The loss is now sinking in, she is crying hysterically. The doctor returns with a 10 litres bucket of water almost full. He stands there undecided.

“Pour water on this fool” I announce. Once his brain comes back, he splashes water on Mr Mokwena’s body. He jumps wide awake. He rubs his eyes, breathing heavily. As soon as he regained his consciousness.

“Stand up, I want you to watch as we rip her stomach open. I want you to watch the bitter consequences of your actions. I want you to remember this day. When you lay a hand on any other female” I command.

The minute we start operating the cesarean. I’m not an obstetrician, but I definitely know where to operate. I choose to cut on her abdomen. The incision on her abdomen. I will be taking the horizontal method. A low-transverse incision also known as a “bikini cut”

“I need to sedate her, I can’t make her go through all this trauma. Do you have something?” I ask the Doc.

“I have general anaesthesia, don’t go too hard on her” he says, when I’m pulling out a syringe.

“Relax, I know what General anaesthesia does. It’s the type of medicine that puts you into a deep sleep so you do not feel pain during surgery. After you receive these medicines, you will not be aware of what is happening around you. So do you trust me now?” I inquire. My face is painted with forlorn.

“Mr Mokwena, don’t close your eyes nor flinch. This is for you” I split.

-

I start cutting her just above the pubic bone, horizontally. I started removing the baby and Kenosi was heavily sedated, she couldn’t feel or see anything. It looks like her womb is also damaged. To make matters worse it wasn’t a single child. There were two of them, their skin is reddish in colour, wrinkled, and veins are visible through their babies translucent skin. Their fingers and toes prints are visible. Their eyelids were beginning to part.

I remove them and hand them over to Dr Morake. They were fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. “You were going to be a father of two, Mr Mokwena. Unfortunately you decide your own path for yourself. I’m not an obstetrician. But by the look of things, her womb might not be able to carry Children full term. If she gets pregnant, she has higher chances of experiencing birth complications that might lead to death. Can I please be excused? I need to swallow this” I excuse myself giving the Doc a chance to complete the job.

Before I could waltz outside I turn to look at Mr Mokwena and freed these words in the chambers because I didn’t want to say it, but I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t say it.

“Mr Mokwena, with all due respect. I want you to look at her, and look at all the damages you have done. I want you to glance at your wife and know that she would never be the woman you want her to be. She would never carry children full team. Should she be pregnant, chances for both of them dying are higher now, next time it won’t be only your kids it would also be her” I stop to breathe and Mr Mokwena is listening attentively.

I continue rumbling, “I wish I could place a curse upon you that you never get the twinkle of being called a father but that is not my call to make. I don’t know why but you are pathetic for a man. How do you lay a hand on a woman, you are not a man enough. You missed your chance of being a father. If I was you Sir, I would have definitely penalized myself to death. You don’t deserve to live. Because to me, fatherhood – Isipho Sam” (my gift) – Words stunts out of my mouth. No lace of regret on Mr Mokwena’s face. I don’t have time for this.

I bulldoze outside. I can’t bring myself to look at her. I knew she was abused but this is too much. I wonder how she would survive the storm. I know her obsession with having kids. Imagine what the news would do to her? That maybe being pregnant in the future might kill her or even if she falls pregnant that baby won’t make it. That is a punch to her womanhood.

~

It has been Two Days, and Kenosi is not yet awake. She is still breathing just fine. But I’m confused as to why she hasn’t woken up.

I have been checking up on her, making sure I clean her. Talking to her so that it doesn’t get gloomy and Langalibalele, bringing her sunshine as usual. Making sure that her IV drip is intact.

We even had to do a blood transfusion. The procedure left me with skin irritation. She didn’t deserve a small needle piercing into her vein on her arm. So I had to carefully monitor vital signs throughout the procedure. I don’t even know what Mr Mokwena did to the baby bodies. I’m in the dark.

-

KENOSI

I’m awake but I can’t open my eyes.

A hand is gripping on my small hand. Swallowing it with their bigger one. A kiss lands on my forehead. A baby is slightly placed next to me. She is lying her head on my shoulder. No damage whatsoever. She is busy cooing and splitting her thick saliva on me.

“Kenosi, I’m sorry I failed you. I know your kids would be alive if I didn’t say I’m Bhekokwakhe – my name means ‘he minds his own’ your children would be alive” he stops, and inhales hard.

What does he mean, children? I want to flip my eyelids open but that is a struggle. It’s like I’m deployed in a World War Zone.

“If I came that night maybe you wouldn’t be here. But I allowed myself to be a coward and stayed in my room after my gut feeling told me that something would happen. I kept rumbling that you are safe. While my heart knew you were not” A long sniff follows. Is he crying? A whole Zulu man? What happened to ‘Indoda ayikhali?’ (A man don’t cry)

Under normal days I was going to burst into a crackle because it is hilarious, but it’s not normal days.

He chortles before mumbling this. “When I first met you. I was taken by your beauty. You were a breath of fresh air, you were so perfect. Yet, I felt far from perfect. I lied to myself to feel good. Hidden under ‘she is not my type’ so I could sleep better. I only dated Langalibalele’s mother. But she had never given me Butterflies. Are those things even really?” He halts to think it through. Then his laugh echoes through the room.

“You are amazing. I even made a silly excuse that she is too dark therefore she is not my type” he lets out a heave. His hand softy creased my stomach.

“I wish I could give you a chance to bear your own kids without any complications. I know how much you love kids, please wake up. If not for me, for Langa” he grunts.

He stops Langalibalele’s leg that is now shuffling my body. “Langa stop it” he warns. Okay that’s it she will cry.

1,2,3 and Go!

There, she is crying. He takes Langalibalele and says “I love you” he plops a kiss on my mouth and leaves. His footsteps disappear, when my eyes flips open. I try to move but my body is sore. I feel IV drip connected to my arm. My memory of what happened a few days ago is blurry. How did I land here?