Rainbow
I woke up with a banging headache and I looked up the lovely ceiling and played with the ring. Is this God way of answering all my sleepless night prayers? Is this him saying you asked and now iv delivered. I took my phone read the text messages that were there and and never answered to any but my mom who was asking if I can come over at her place for lunch today which was thoughtful and I needed some motherly love so I agreed. I went to the bathroom took a cold shower than sat there in the cold water making it un tighten my muscles when done i went out and was disturbed by the knock and a lady voice politely saying room service. I remembered I haven't ordered anything but grabbed my gown and went to the door and open to find the lovely hotel lady.
Me: i didnt order anything sisi. She looks at the number on my door and looks at the clip board confused.
Waitress: its showed her that Mr Mkhize ordered. The minute she said Mr Mkhize i stopped her.
Me: its okay. She pushed the tray in to the far end where there is a small table looking out the backyard view. When she was done she left and I tried tipping her and she smiled and declined.
Waitress: your husband has already tipped me. I nodded and went to sit by the small table.
Sanele
I swapped in the card to her room and found her by the breakfast table sitting there looking outside as she ate. I made sure I ordered majority of her favourites. I walked up to her and I knew she knew i was there but she didn't turn to acknowledge me. I pulled the chair sat across from her and we ate in silence. When done i poured her orange juice and poured my black coffee and she took the glass and looked at me for a while.
Rainbow: You okay? That question took me off guard. I didn't expect it at all.
Me: Yeah am okay and you?
Rainbow: the man I buried and loved and tried years trying to come to terms with his sudden death just reappeared and started shaping my life the way he sees fit without talking to me first.
Me: Am sorry
Rainbow: why you back? Now that hurt and i looked at her trying so hard to be in control of her emotions.
Me: Because you in danger. Now that took her back and she shifted her whole attention to me.
Rainbow: what you mean?
Me: Its a long story but I need you to trust me.
Rainbow: you don't get to do that Sanele. You don't get to come back from lord knows where and tell me to trust you. It does not work like that all. Ill ask again. What do you mean am in danger?. I looked at her for awhile and knew this woman has been my rock once surely she can be my rock now.
Me: Theo. She looked at me confused.
Rainbow: what his got to do with it?
Me: after the arrest a lot of people were unsettled by my arrest and what I could have said for my release since they know the extent of my crimes yet i wasn't charged. How come? So I had to plan my death after I heard of the naive Snakes and Theo plans to remove me. I had to die so I can do my off the earth work in peace and assure the people I work with of my loyalty and that am still the same Mr X that they know. I had to assure them and show them that i wouldn't hurt them that way. So when I got shot i brought the doctors to say to you am in a deep comma. I planned the whole thing up to the point of letting Senilisiwe in pointing you to the hospital in Switzerland. I planned the whole thing up until to the day of my death to the funeral and all. Am sorry but I had to for your safety and for us to not look over our shoulder. She was now looking at me with tears streaming down her face.
Rainbow: Your sisters?
Me: Senilisiwe
Rainbow: she knew all along? She watched me grieve you? Listened to my doubts, what me go through hell and she knew that you lived? Thabo?
Me: he didnt know. If you and him knew,you wouldn't have reacted the way that you did and it wouldn't have been believable.
Rainbow: believable!!! She got up from her chair and looked at me with so much pain and its hurt. She grabbed her chain breaking it and threw her engagement and wedding rings at me.
Rainbow: I gave you my life, I gave you all of me and all i received was half of you. I treated you like my husband. Respected your choices and respected the man that you were. I trusted you with my life. I lost a child because of you keeping things from me and than you go around and do this? Rob me of 5 years after iv given you so much? Not trust me? Why the hell did you marry me,make me your wife if you wouldn't trust me? Why be in my life if you wouldn't allow me to be yours?I chose you knowing very well that not everything is black and white but to fake your death! Play with my emotions to serve your agenda. That selfish and a person who you claim you love, you don't do that to them. You dont hurt them just so you can protect them. When she was done she was breathing fast and I knew she was about to get a panic attack. I slid the sliding door allowing her to get more air. She did her best trying to breathe and when i tried to move closer to her and she raised her hand not wanting me to touch her.
Rainbow: Go Sanele, just go please. She whispered and I stood there looking at her and the pain and confusion iv caused her.
Me: baby
Rainbow: Please just go. I took my thinks and left her room and went to the room next to hers. I booked the whole floor for us to have privacy. I got there to find my sister there. I couldn't talk and she looked at me and understood.
Me: iv hurt her. I did the one thing i told myself ill never do. Iv hurt the only woman who has truly loved me. How could I have been so heartless
Senilisiwe: You did everything you could to save the woman who loves you and who you love. I left her standing there and went to go take a shower.
Rainbow
I sat there going through all the times after the incident. The praying, crying and begging God to intervene. The sisters were always there supportive throughout the ordeal and I was grateful but they knew about they brother and that he lived not once did they think of telling me. Letting us in on everything. But would I have reacted the way that I did? In them telling me would it have put Sanele life in more risk? Would he have made it back to me? Should I just be grateful that he has found his way to me than wanting answers and explanations? Should I just forgive him and welcome him home. This must have been hard on him as it was on me. But is letting him in opening myself to future betrayal? And than there is Theo!! What does he gain with Sanele out of the way? Was he my friend because of his own agenda? To think i almost fucked him senseless. I stood there as all these questions were rolling in my mind. What am I going to do??...
