REDEMPTION (Ongoing)

10. STRAWBERRIES AND CIGARETTES

"Remember when you taught me fate
Said it'd all be worth the wait

---- ----

But I can still smell you on my clothes
Always hoping things would change
But we went right back to your games"

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Theresa Young
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I SIT AT THE expicitly long table staring at the spectrum of crystals dancing on the expensive wine glasses.

All around me, light sounds of cutlery clanking and inanimate luxurious chatter goes on in groomed tones.

Edward sits beside me, merrily discussing the latest shipment from his mine and across the table a few seats away, Aiden and Celia.

"Isn't that right sugar?"

I turn to my right, at Edward's voice, lost and confused.

"What?" I ask, in embarassment.

"The new land up for auction that I showed you the other day-" he says energetically.

I nod my head with a formal smile.

"Yeah, very impressive." I mutter, uninterested.

I don't know what is wrong with my head. My appetite has vanished and as I look around the table, numbly I realise-

What am I doing here?

This doesn't feel like my place. Not my people. Over the years, I felt merely bored, but tonight- I feel sad. Trapped.

Helplessly, I skip dessert, escaping to the balcony at the east of the place. These kind of gatherings mostly took place at members' houses, so tonight this mansion I was in must be belonging to someone on the Association.

I didn't remember the name, but I was pretty sure either Edward or Celia must have told me.

I rest both hands on the railing, the wind hitting me as the balcony looked out the long driveway, an extensive lawn on either side of it.

I find a cigarette pack inside my clutch, that I only ever carried if I was attending one of these events and light one.

The puff of smoke plunges out in the air near my face when I hear a movement behind me. Immediately I pull my hand down and hide the stick behind me inconspicuously.

Just in case it was Celia.

Aiden walks up next to me, resting half of his body with an elbow on the railing, looking up at me.

"Oh. It's you." I take the cigarette out of hiding l, relieved and take another puff.

He shrugs and forwards a hand out. I pass the cigarette to him, who takes a blow himself, looking out at the lawns. The tip burns with a fiery red, before an ash of smoke appears in transfused shapes.

"So, what is it?"

I look at him, in surprise and curiosity.

"I don't understand?"

"You were miserable at the table." He explains.

Of course he would notice. My negativity had always been way too infectious and Aiden had always been quick to pick up things.