MY: FIL

03: Hyung, cuddle me

***

Park Jimin

Min Yoongi is no longer only a brother to me. He is no longer just someone I work with, a bandmate, and he is no longer someone I consider a friend; Yoongi Hyung is more than that.

He is the person that gives me butterflies. The one who makes me smile without even doing anything, and whenever our eyes meet, he makes my heart stop beating as if that single look from his pretty eyes is enough to take my breath away and kill me ⸺ God knows that I would let him if he wants to. Not that Yoongi Hyung would ever want me to do that because I know that he'll always miss all of the kisses that I give his rosy dumpling cheeks that I have always want to bite and pinch.

Most people know me as the type of person to subtly flirt with people, and I admit that I do that most of the time, but it's usually just for show. After all, I am part of the world's biggest boy band. Showing off will not harm other people and my group; it even turned into a joke between my members and me, and we would usually just laugh about it.

Flirting with my members is something that I personally wouldn't call flirting since everyone knows that I am a very affectionate person. I like having physical contact with people that I am close to, especially my band members. They're my friends, and we have lived together under the same roof for a very long time, so we are very used to being able to touch each other skin by skin in a way that is a bit more intimate, but they all know that I am just that kind of person.

But with Yoongi Hyung, everything is different. Being affectionate with him is much different than the things that I do with our other band members. For the others, it's usually forehead kisses, hugs, and some hand-holding; I don't see anything more than that because we all know that it's how we show our affection for each other as a family but with Yoongi Hyung, everything feels much more intimate, it makes me feel as if he's actually my lover.

A lover, that's what I want to have.

Yoongi Hyung really had me in for a surprise when one day, my view of him was no longer that of a brother to another or a friend to his friend but someone that loves him more than just a friend of ten years would have.

He's unique, and at first, I was so afraid of my feelings for him deepening as I continued to fall, not being able to find a way to climb back up ⸺ not that I was even trying to. It was so hard not to fall for him. He may look like a tough person on the outside, but he's just a really soft and wonderful person when he starts to open up to you.

Falling for him was unexpected, but I do not regret a single thing.

God, I'm falling deeper than I expected.

I am certain that he is more than just a brother to me and had only just realized how my heart yearns for the man that I am beginning to love beyond life itself.

Yoongi Hyung is special to me, the person I'm falling for, and I am not doing anything to stop my heart from drowning in the ocean of one named Min Yoongi.

Slowly but surely, you're carving your own place in my heart.

When did I finally admit to myself that the feeling that I have in my heart whenever I think of him is more than friendship?

It was on that day.

The others have left to spend time on their own while some went home to their families and take advantage of the vacation our company gave us. They said we had worked hard this past year, and we deserved a bit of a break.

Coming back from my family, who I visited for about a week or two in Busan, I am really exhausted with everything we did back home because they said they wanted to take advantage of my time back. We went to the beach, had a picnic, some of my family members came to visit, there were so many people to see and talk to, so many memories I made in just a short amount of time that it is all overwhelming me; reminding me that after this vacation, it would take a long time for me to be back again.

Thinking about this, I couldn't help but feel emotional, not even caring if my tears were flowing down my cheeks at such speed. It just feels good to cry about it; Yoongi Hyung wouldn't hear the end of this if he found out that I was holding back my feelings.

He had always taught us that it's okay to let out the things that we are feeling. All the emotions, thoughts, and memories that we want to let go of because it's not healthy to bottle it all up.

"Jimin?" A familiar voice calls my name from behind me.

As fast as I could, I turned my head back to see Yoongi Hyung standing there with his bags; he clearly just came back from visiting his family back in Daegu. I couldn't help but smile, and my tears kept flowing down my face, which made his face contort into some sort of mixed expressions of surprise and concern. The movie that I was watching on the television was now only a murmur in my ears as my eyes turned into hearts as I continued to stare at him.

He's back. My ⸺ Yoongi Hyung is back!

The next thing I knew, two arms were wrapped around me. My eyes widened but slowly, my arms wrapped around him as well as we both sat on the couch tangled together with each other's limbs. Having Yoongi Hyung right here next to me made me realize how much I missed him, his scent, his warmth, his voice, the way he looked at me from the doorway, his touch ⸺ I missed everything about him.

"What's wrong, Jimin?" He asks me.

Instead of answering, I only hummed and buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent and feeling my heart sore as if I had arrived in heaven. My arms wrapped tighter around him as I slowly pulled him on top of me, and I heard a small gasp from him but didn't bother.

"Cuddle me, Hyung."

At first, he stayed silent, then he chuckled softly to my ear, and from our position, he felt and looked a lot smaller in my arms. My heart began to beat faster once again, and I hoped he wouldn't feel my heart beating this fast as not to embarrass myself.

"Of course, Jiminie."

I smiled.

My heart yearns for you; if only I could tell you that I'm falling, and you'd let me hold you like this longer.