MY: FIL

01: Can I kiss you, Hyung?

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Jeon Jungkook

Min Yoongi is no longer only a brother to me. He is no longer just someone I work with, a bandmate, and he is no longer someone I consider a friend; Yoongi Hyung is more than that.

Whenever I see Yoongi Hyung now, everything has changed from how I saw him before. He used to be just my Hyung, who is always there for me, letting me do whatever I want with him because I have the youngest member privileges, but now, something shifted with how I feel for him and how I treat him.

Nothing had really changed when the moment came, and I realized that strange feeling for Yoongi Hyung was actually love. I was falling for Yoongi Hyung, and I didn't even know. It just hit me like lightning, and I would do nothing to change what happened, even though falling and having feelings for your own bandmate is looked down upon by the media.

Falling for Yoongi Hyung was a whole new experience since I was scared that he might not feel the same way. I will wait for the day where I can finally confess to him ⸺ even though I seem to have shown him my true feelings that day, but I want to ask him out when I finally gather enough courage properly. Even if there is a possibility that he will reject me, I will respect his decision even though it may hurt me.

My feelings for him will never change, even if he rejects me. I love him too much to let him go, but I'm not a selfish person that I would force myself onto him. Namjoon Hyung has taught me a lot about feelings such as these, and for the record, I also think he has feelings for Yoongi Hyung.

Yoongi Hyung has captured my heart, pulling me deeper, but I have no regrets about how I feel about him. I will keep falling for him, deeper and deeper because no other person I see my future with. Growing old and all that shit Jin Hyung keeps complaining about the future.

He is more than just a brother to me that I am confident and had only just realized how my heart yearns for the man that I am beginning to love beyond life itself.

Yoongi is special to me, the person who I'm falling for, and I am not doing anything to stop my heart from drowning in the ocean of one named Min Yoongi.

Slowly but surely, you're carving your own place in my heart.

When did I finally admit to myself that the feeling that I have in my heart whenever I think of him is more than friendship?

It was on that day.

The two of us are on the rooftop with cans of beer in our hands, drinking in silence. We could still hear the muffled noises and songs from inside of the building. The company is hosting a party to celebrate another successful year for the company, but because there's a pandemic, our CEO decided to hold a party in our building.

It was getting loud, and I was getting sleepy; luckily, my knight in shining armor arrived and saved me from the dreadful boredom at the party. Yoongi Hyung grabbed my hand and dragged me across the bodies of people who didn't seem to notice the two leaving the party ⸺ except for Sejin Hyung, who yelled something to remind us not to leave any hickeys on each other.

That doesn't even make any sense.

We arrived at the rooftop and sat down at the edge to watch the night sky and the beautiful city lights below, dancing around in harmony as if they were stars of the Earth. It was hard to see any real stars up in the sky because of the city lights, but I could still enjoy the night because the person who placed the stars in the sky for me was sitting right next to me.

Yoongi Hyung is sitting next to me with his eyes focused on the beautiful view in front of us. But I'd rather stare at him all night than whatever it is that was in front of us. I stared at him dreamily, my eyes sparkling as I focused on all the beautiful features and details that I found on his face, exploring with my eyes, planning out where I could place soft kisses.

But I was interrupted when he spoke.

"Koo, why are you looking at me like that?" Yoongi Hyung asks as he turns his head to look at me with confusion, his brow raised.

I wasn't supposed to say it ⸺ I'm not supposed to say anything at all, and if only I had just shut my mouth, it wouldn't have changed the mood of the situation. But I was dumb, and I was falling for him, "Can I kiss you, Hyung?"

There was silence.

He stared at me in shock, and I was about to take it back, to apologize and run away from him to avoid embarrassing myself even more, but it was as if something was blocking my air pipes because nothing was coming out of my mouth, not a single word. I see him blinking, his mouth slightly ajar, and his eyes widening as if he is still trying to figure out if everything that is happening is real.

"Tell me no now, and I'll stay away. I'm never going to bring this up, and we'll go back to the way we were before." I was finally able to speak, and I took a nice deep breath, gathering all the courage and, with my mind hazy, feeling a bit confident from all the alcohol.

But I am determined, and I am not backing out now.

"What if I keep you waiting for an answer?" Yoongi Hyung blushed, looking away and pouting a bit.

My ears couldn't believe what I just heard from him; I gulped and smiled teasingly, "Then I don't know if I can keep myself from taking something I've always wanted for a long time."

He looked back at me again and tried to act like he didn't care, but I could see through his act, "Kiss me then."

That night was my awakening.