endure | e. jaeger & a. arlert

XXI. Family

a/n: hopefully this chapter makes up for the last one's pain 😩

"Fuck, fuck, Y/N, wake up," a voice hissed in your ear. Its owner, or at least you assumed it was its owner, was jostling you roughly, and you swatted the hands away with a groan. You had been having a nice dream, though you could hardly remember what it was about at this point.

"Stop, you need to get up," he said. You opened your eyes, vision bleary from sleep. The stars twinkled against the velvet night sky, and you smiled, still only half-conscious.

"Look, 'Ren, it's the moon!" you said.

"Yes, yes, very beautiful. You know what won't be beautiful? The search party that Mikasa will send out for us pretty soon! We've been gone for hours!" he said. You shot up, shocked awake by this, nearly slamming your head into Eren's.

"Oh, shit, May's going to kill me!" you said, scrambling to your feet and racing over to your clothes, beginning to pull them on hastily.

"We're both dead," he agreed, doing up the laces of your dress without being prompted. You shoved your feet into your shoes and ran over to where the horses were also sleeping. They startled awake, clearly confused at you and Eren's panicked state.

"What's our excuse?" you said as you shouldered through the forested path before making it onto the main road and breaking into a gallop.

"We were visiting Petra's grave to see if that would help you remember anything and lost track of time," he said, turning sharply to the left, in the direction of the castle. You did the same, praying that your friends would not be too angry, even though it was probably futile. They were bound to be worried; that was just how they were.

Racing through the castle courtyard, you were both decidedly out of breath by the time you arrived in front of the stables and dismounted your horses, handing them to one of the people that worked there. The boy gave you confused looks, probably wondering why you were in such a rush, but you did not linger.

"Which door?" you said. Eren grabbed your hand and dragged you after him, forcing you to sprint to keep up with him.

"That one leads to the sleeping quarters!" he said, skidding to a stop in front of a tall wooden door. Fishing around in his pockets for something, he pulled out a key and unlocked the door. It swung open, and you crept inside. Maybe, if you were lucky, you wouldn't get caught. Perhaps they hadn't even noticed your absence.

"That was a mighty long shower you took," May said, appearing from seemingly nowhere, her arms crossed. Mikasa was beside her, glowering at you.

"May!" you said, remembering with a start the excuse you had told her before rushing off. At the time, you just wanted to be alone and away from everyone, but now, you realized it looked a lot more like you were sneaking out, as if you were some rebellious teenager.

"Where have you guys been? We've been looking for you everywhere!" Mikasa said.

"Mikasa! We couldn't find them, sorry," Tullia said, rounding the corner with Jean at her side.

"Probably because they're right there, babe," Jean said, pointing at you. Tullia spun around to see you, and her eyes widened.

"Ah, right. Where were you? We searched the entire castle!" she said.

"That's what we were wondering, actually," May said.

"I took her to Petra's grave," Eren said bluntly. Everyone went deathly silent at this, and Mikasa and Jean shot looks at Tullia, who had gone pale.

"W-why?" she said.

"Thought it might help her remember," he said.

"Did it?" Tullia said, and her eyes were beseeching as she stared at Eren. His face fell, and she let out a small gasp, stumbling backwards. Jean was there in an instant to catch her, looking worried for the girl, whose breath was beginning to come in harsh, short gasps. You watched her curiously, wondering what was the matter.