My first love. Daniel. We were only together for just over a month, but I was 12 and I thought that was long. Obviously it was not. After we broke up it really affected me negatively, and I sought out online friends for reassurance. I got none, because I didn't send nudes in return for said reassurance. I was only 12, I didn't know what nudes were at the time, so I didn't pay much attention to them.
Around this age my dad had started getting more physically abusive. It was less sexual and more painful by this point. I had a red mark going down my face where he'd struck me across the head with something multiple times; a book, a phone, a small box, filled to the brim with papers. I wore glasses then too, so those didn't help my scenario. But what makes me even sadder and what should fill that selfish asshole with even more guilt is the fact that after a while I stopped wearing my glasses around him in fear of them breaking when he struck me across the face, which did happen about 3 times. Y'know what they say, 3rd time's the charm. I also stopped looking away when he yelled at me. I'd look him directly in the eye with no fear whatsoever and that just showed I didn't give a fuck. I was tired of it all, and we both knew it. I'm out of there now. I miss the adrenaline though that was always fun.
Daniel bullied me in school daily, driving me to self-harm and my first suicide attempt. My stepmom found my suicide letters while sneaking through my stuff looking for money or something she could use to show to my dad to get me into trouble again. She constantly did that. I hate her. She found the letters and asked me about them but of course I couldn't give her the real reason as to why I wrote them, so I came up with one on the spot. I don't even remember what it was, something about the girls behind me in maths class making fun of me, and she told me to stop overreacting and grow up. Then she told my dad.
They constantly made jokes about my suicide attempt....I didn't like that. I still don't., almost 2 years later.
19/09/21
YOU ARE READING
My Escape
RandomI just need a place to escape from all the chaos in my life, so I'm making this book and I'll be writing some short stories and stuff in it because writing is the only healthy way I know how to cope with this stuff.
