simons loverr

oopsies

⚠️ SELF HARM ⚠️!!

so yeah, as i said I was gonna go see sam
yet again i never had a friendly relationship with her
but whatever
i had no one else to rant to, i fucking hated simon
he didn't even try to stand up for me, now that i think about it i should have told the truth
but now im expelled .. perfect right !

I was opening my door to leave and..
of course simon was standing there
i glared at him
"hey!"
he said like he did nothing wrong
what the fuck is wrong with him
"why are you here"
"because i missed you"
he said already entering my house
"i didnt invite you in"
"you okay?"
he said taking off his jacket
"no im fucking not simon"
simon: what's wrong
he asked softly
amani: WHATS WRONG, YOUR GONNA PULL THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW, ALL CAUSE OF YOU I GOT FUCKING EXPELLED
simon: w-wait what
amani: yeah, fucking expelled, all cause of you
simon: amani, I- im sorr-
amani: no, don't fucking pull that shit
Simon: amani...
amani: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU, JUST FUCK YOU, I CANT EVEN FUCKING STAND TO SEE YOU ANY MORE, IM SO DONE WITH YOU, YOUR A STRAIGHT UP ASSHOLE, I FUCKING HATE YOU, FUCKING FUCKING HATE YOU SIMON, ONE MORE TIME, FUCK...YOU
he looked at me in complete shock
simon: amani... you-you don't mean that
he said as his voice cracks and a tear rolling down his eye
*going back to the way it was 😭*
"really...cause I don't regret anything I just said"
"okay then"
he said holding in his tears, he grabbed his jacket and shoved me going out the door
"oh, and by the way"
he turned around still trying to hold in his tears
"im not yours any more, your not mine anymore, im so done with you"
"no.."
he said releasing the cry he was holding in
"we're over, okay, OVER"
"no...no no amani please, your the reason im still here, i fucking love you with all my heart, your literally my everything amani, please no, please please no"
"I don't care, I don't give a fuck anymore, more like I don't give a fuck about YOU anymore"
my heart completely breaking when I said that, but I didn't wanna take it back
he completely broke down
he walked out the door saying nothing
right when he left I locked the door and slid down the door and starting bowling my eyes out
i felt sick but I honestly couldn't stop crying
I loved that dude with all my heart

I don't know why I left him, I don't even know

I hated everything, I had nothing else I didn't wanna die, but I wanna punish myself I wanna feel..sore, numb. im gonna do it. i don't care.

of course i had to send one last message to my fav people ever, in case it goes wrong and I actually end up dying

kate first

' hey, it's amani, im leaving the a little message..
Kate, i have to say, thank you for being the sun in my life, you were there for me ever since we were 11, i just wanna say thank you for always being there for me, thank you for always caring for me, making me laugh, and always putting me first, I love you with all my heart, and I wish you the best. love you kate

thats one.

next, deena.

' hey deena, it's amani, im sending you this for a reason, so I wanna say thank you, for everything, thank you for always being there for me, letting me stay the night at your house whenever something would go wrong, or my mom would do things to me, I wanna say thank you for that, and always caring for me, I wish you the best, and tell Sam I wish her the best, I hope both you guys the best, and tell josh, yes that was me who hid his corndog . love you guys.

I didn't know who else
I don't know
should I leave simon a message
yeah I guess

' hey Simon, it's amani, yeah, haha, I wanna say just thank you. Thank you for just, being here, thank you for just being you, you always brightened up my day, all the time.... I love you .

I started tearing up
i went to my room
I took off my pants, my shirt my bra
and put on a over size black shirt and left my underwear on

I grabbed a razor for whenever someone would break in or something lol
I grabbed it and stared hearing my phone ringing, I didn't answer it I went straight to my bathroom
looked at myself
and just bam
jammed myself in the wrist with my razor

I screamed in pain
a lot of pain
I sliced it open and blood was everywhere
I didn't have any more motivation to cut the other
I just jammed it, and left the razor in there

then I blacked out .

OKAY EVERYONE!! IM SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER LOLLL
BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER
NO. YOU WILL NOT DIE LMAO
BUT... SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT...?!

IDK

HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT LOVE YOU GUYS AND THANK YOU FOR 1K READS AHHHHGHHH

AGAIN LOVE YOU GUYS
AND
DONT
FORGET
TO
VOTE
!!!

⭐️⭐️