Year- 2018
"Left foot hit, raise left hand, spin- Shit. I messed up."
Kai fell to the ground dramatically, covering his face with his hands. He sniffled, "I'm never going to debut at this rate!" He fell back and let his tears wet his hands. The oldest gave him a sad look, and kneeled beside him.
"Kai, don't be silly. We are going to debut, we made it this far. We were put together, and now all we have left to do is practice hard. We'll debut." He rubbed the still sobbing boy's back, while Soobin hummed softly, attempting to calm him.
Kai removed his hands from his face, revealing his puffy eyes. "When will we debut?"
"Soon." Yeonjun reassured him.
"But when?"
"Soon."
"That's not a measurement of time, stupid."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
The two bickered back and forth for the remaining half an hour of practice. They were interrupted when a manager came in to usher them away to the workout room. Kai grumbled, crossing his arms. "I hate working out. It's so boring." Soobin nodded in agreement, but the others shook their heads in disapproval.
"C'mom Kai, doesn't it get you pumped up?!" Beomgyu said, making his face look exceptionally excited. He shook his head hard, trying to make his point clear. This was what they did every since Kai signed as a trainee. That was two years ago, almost three now.
New years was coming in close, and he couldn't believe it. "It's almost 2019, I think it's going to be our lucky year." Yeonjun said as he pushed open the doors to the workout room.
Taehyun raised a brow, "What do you mean?"
"I mean I think we're going to debut." Soobin gave him a stare that said, don't get their hopes up. Yeonjun nodded, and they all entered the room filled with treadmills. They all ran for about 30 minutes, and moved onto weights. But Kai stayed in his place, running. By the time their hour was over, the rest were aching to get back to the dorm.
"Huening? You coming?" Said Taehyun, being the last one standing at the exit. Kai shook his head.
"I'm going to run for a little while longer. You guys go eat, and head to bed." Taehyun nodded cautiously, usually he was so eager to go and eat dinner. But tonight was different. Taehyun quickly left, following behind the members. As soon as the door was closed, Kai stopped running and went to the locker room. He pulled out his phone and looked over the notification from his calendar. It read, "Y/N's birthday<8"
Kai felt as if he was going to burst. And he did. Tears rolled down his cheek, and he let out a wail. His tears didn't stop, and he cried her name. "Oh, Y/N... I miss you." He covered his face with his hands. He didn't mean what he said those years ago. He liked Y/N. He loved Y/N. But, he had been accepted into BigHit by then. It was the chance of a lifetime. And he wouldn't give it up. But now he wondered, "Was it worth it?"
3 hours later
"Kai?!" Someone was yelling, again and again. Kai grumbled at all the noise. He had fallen asleep in one of the showers, and was confused. Who was calling him? Then he heard sniffles coming from outside, then a cry.
"Kai?! Where are you? This isn't funny!" It was Soobin, from under the shower curtain, Kai spotted him sprawled out on the floor.
Huening quickly opened the curtain and wrapped his arms around the older boy. "Soobin? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Soobin's head shot up in surprise. He blinked a few times and then threw his arms around Kamal with another cry.
"Kai! I was so worried. You've been gone for three hours!" Kai shook his head in surprise, but Soobin quickly pulled out his phone to show him the time. 3AM. He slapped a hand over his mouth in surprise, which was followed by many "I'm sorry's." Soobin quickly forgave him though, and they both walked back to the dorm together.
When they arrived, everyone was fast asleep. Soobin grabbed a cold bowl of jjajangmyeon from the fridge that they had saved for him. "We ordered jjajangmyeon tonight, and I got you a bowl. Eat up!"
"Thanks, Soobin." Said Kai graciously taking the bowl with two hands. Soobin nodded, and walked over to the couch where Beomgyu had fallen asleep. He patted his shoulder waking him, and pulled him up by his arm. They both disappear into his room, and closed the door. Soobin returned a few short moments later, and sat down across from Kai.
"Kai, why were you in the shower? You didn't take one." Soobin asked, worry filling his eyes. Kai chewed, should he tell him? He swallowed quickly, and set down his chopsticks.
"Erm, do you remember..." He stopped. Saying her name was hard, and Soobin looked at him eagerly. "Do you remember Y/N, Soobin?" Soobin's eager expression dropped, and he remained still.
He pulled back, and leaned into his seat. "Yes." He answered plainly. He looked uncomfortable at the name, and cleared his throat.
"Why do you bring her up?" Soobin asked after a few moments.
"Todays her birthday." Kai said, he sounded weary. Soobin gave him a regretful face, and came over to sit by him. He rubbed his shoulder, and Kai stared down at his food.
"I really miss her Soobin, I-" Kai was cut off by his own sob. He cried quietly, as to not wake the sleeping members. Soobin nodded, he knew how hard it was for Kai. He felt horrible for the boy, he just wanted him to be happy. Trainee life was so hard on him, and he was getting tired. Soobin feared that one day he might quit. Kai continued his cries, till he eventually ran out of tears to cry. He wiped his face with his sleeve, and hugged Soobin.
"Thanks for the food Soobin, I think I'm going to head to bed." Soobin nodded, and let his arms fall. Kai stood up, and walked to his bedroom, being sure to shut the door quietly.
