Drowning | on hold

13 | A tear of happiness

"The view is beautiful!" I say.

The wind hitting my face.It brought me comfort and my thoughts clear.

My thoughts reached her.

Mom.

I look up to the sky and try to reach her. It's like we are seeing each other and we are talking.

It's weird.

I can feel her presence but it's just on my mind, right?

I thought I was over the whole situation.

But no.

How can you get over someone that was so close to you?

I don't know.

"Angel, are you okay?" Hayden asked from behind me.That's when the tears started coming down.I don't want him to see me crying.

I get pulled in a hug.

I hug him tight.

Not wanting to let go.

"It's okay! You are okay!" He comforts me. "I miss her,Hayden! I miss her so much!" And I began crying so much I couldn't breath.He is probably confused on what I am saying.

"I know angel!" He pulled me tighter. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head.

We stay in silence for a few minutes.I tried to calm myself down.It still hurts from the inside.

I can't help it.

"It hurts." I say.He doesn't reply.He just pulled me tighter.Still staying in silence.

After a few minutes he talks "Let's take you home!" I nod.We pulled away from the hug and said goodbye to the others. He held my backpack the entire time we were up there.

As we walked down he came close to me and interweaved our fingers.I am sure he didn't do this earlier because he didn't want the others to see.

We get in his car and he drove away."I am sorry." He broke the silence.I shoot my head towards him."You don't have to be sorry for me.It's the past." I try to soften the situation with a smile.

He didn't buy it.He just stayed silent.No emotion shown on his face.

He missed the turn to my house. "Hayden you missed a turn!"

"I know." He paused.

"I hate seeing you sad and I am about to do something about it." That put a smile on my face.He cares about me."What exactly?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Just a drive around." He turned his head towards me and he saw me smile and it put a small smile on his face.I lean in and kiss his cheek. "You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know but I want to."

This man will be the death of me.

He pulled up in an empty parking lot.I got out of the car in the same time as he did."Do you think it is a good idea to be seen together?" I ask.

"I don't care besides, noone is here." He says with a smirk on his face.

We sit on top of the car.

I was enjoying this.Not because of the view but because of the person I am hanging out with. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I always come here when I need to think.It is an abandoned place so I feel at peace.It's a good place to talk,too."

I understand the feeling."How do you guys get paid so much for not being an official pro swimmer?" I changed the subject.

"Well I made a deal.If I win a specific number of competitions I automatically pass to a pro swimmer immediately after graduation."

"And the payments?"

"I get paid by the team management and I am the highest paid swimmer in such a young age because I won most of the competitions."

"That makes sense." I smile.I am trying to distract myself by talking about other things."How about you and college?"

"I always dreamed of being a therapist. It was my birthday wish when I turned 10 and now I am bringing it to life."

"How about the library?"

"How do you know?" I never told him about the library.

"Instagram bio." Social media.

Of course.

"Well, I am not going to bail on the library.It is special to me.It was my mom's but when she passed away, it got passed on me..." I was starting to talk about my mom.

"You don't have to."

Hayden makes me feel safe and more comfortable of sharing a part of my life – with him."No, I want to."

"She died because of cancer.That never stopped her from going to work or taking care of me.I was only 17 when I got a call and she was gone." A tear dropped from my eyes.Hayden sat up closer to me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"She wanted me to become successful as a therapist and that's when I am leading to.My dad was hardly there for us.Three years later he go married again and now I have a bitchy stepmom."

"I am sorry you had to go through that. You deserve so much better.I wished I found you earlier." I sat up and looked him in the eyes.He cupped my face and wiped my tears away with his thumb.

Even in the saddest moments he makes me happy.It puts a smile in my face.I wished I didn't push him away before.

I was the one that leaned in this time and kisses him.As our lips touched a single tear left my right eye.

People call it the tear of happiness.

We pull away, smiling.

"Thank you!" I say.He gave me a soft smile and held my hand.

"Come on it's getting late!" He helped me get down and we got inside the car.

He drove me back to the house and said goodbye with a kiss on my cheek.

I love those kisses.

I get inside the house and yell Scarlett's name and she answered saying that she is in the living room.

I walk in there to only find Cora there too."We were watching a movie.Care to join?"

"Hell yeah!"

"You guys left early and you came home last.Where did you go?"

"Somewhere!" I say not telling details.

"Girl don't you think that I haven't noticed how you two have been acting today!" Cora said.I threw a pillow directly on her head.

"Shut up."