My heart got filled with the love I missed all these years all thanks to 𝒉𝒊𝒎
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My core throbing for his touch. "Aila, say something or I will leave?"
"I want you to go down on me!" That was his cue to jerk m...
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Bravery.
Seven lettered word.
A big meaning.
There comes a moment where you feel like you can do the most challenging job or the most dangerous one and yet you don't feel brave.
Maybe you feel pressured by people to do it and that's why you will do it.
Something triggers it.
It always does.
The feeling of power, the feeling that you can do anything, that you are capable of handling it.
Being brave makes you feel powerful.
Fills your head with no fear.
You think to yourself, 'you can do it, how hard can it be?'
Deep down you try to make yourself handle it but it never becomes easier. Hear the same words a thousand of times yet it will never sink in.
People see you and they think she can handle it, she is capable of it, she is a rock.
They don't know the nights I cried my heart out.
They don't know the nights when I shook in fear.
The don't know the nights when I begged God to take me with him.
They don't know anything.
THAT'S NOT BEING BRAVE JUST FROM THE OUTSIDE.
BECAUSE I SMILE A LOT DOESN'T MEAN THAT'S ME INSIDE.
LEARN THAT SHIT.
I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE SAY THAT THEY THINK HIGHLY OF ME BECAUSE I AM STUDYING IN COLLEGE, THAT I GOT THROUGH MY TEENAGE YEARS WITHOUT A MOTHER BUT NOONE FUCKING KNOWS THE TRAMA I WENT THROUGH TO BE WHERE I AM TODAY. NOBODY GAVE A DAMN FUCK IF I NEED SOMETHING, SOMWONE TO TALK TO WITH MY PROBLEMS.
Nobody. Knew. Me.
Not even my own father.
After mom's death I closed of emotionally.
Mom called me her sword.
I remember her calling me 'look who came from school, mom's sword' with a smile on her face.
Always.
I did ask my father to send me to a therapist once but he was to busy getting in his assistant's pants not even two weeks after the lost.
So I decided one night after he was "working late" I decided to give a call to the therapist my friend at school goes to.
I didn't tell anyone.
I booked an appointment and the next day I went there while I was supposed to be at school that day.
