Deeper into Darkness | ChanHoMin

15

felix sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

he was stressing himself out again and it was bad, he had forgotten to ask seungmin for his number and he hadn't heard from any of them in a week, chan wasn't answering his phone and felix was terrified something happened. this wasn't normal.

but he had more to worry about.

changbin was coming over. any minute.

they hadn't seen each other since they broke up because felix knew he wouldn't be able to hold it together. he was worrying about everything, whether he looked good, whether his house was clean, whether he had tried hard enough when getting ready.

he was pulled out of his thoughts from the sound of someone knocking on the door.

"fuck... he's here... don't talk about seungmin." he whispered.

felix stood up and took a shaky breath, walking towards the door and putting on a fake smile as he opened it.

changbin looked at felix as the door opened, he could immediately see his dark circles and the distress in his eyes. he felt extremely guilty for screwing felix over when he needed him, it was just too much to be missing seungmin and seeing felix in so much pain.

when he found out that two of his friends were involved, even if it wasn't a real kidnapping he felt betrayed, they knew about felix and how much he loved him and they knew the reason changbin broke up with him yet they continued the charade of not knowing anything about seungmin, letting changbin throw away his relationship.

felix was looking at changbin like he was about to break down. he thought he could hold it together but he couldn't, his eyes were so warm and friendly and he knew the way they looked when he smiled, he wanted to be the reason he smiled. the memories of crying over changbin flooded into his head and he broke, piece by piece until the tears were welling up in his eyes.

changbin stepped inside and closed the door behind him, pulling felix in for a hug the second he saw his tears.

felix may be a few inches taller but that didn't stop him from fitting into changbin's arms like they were made for him. he started to cry as he felt the warmth of the hug he had missed so much, the way changbin held him made his heart hurt.

"i'm sorry sweetheart, i'm so sorry." changbin whispered.

and he genuinely meant it, he couldn't imagine what felix was going through and he had been so selfish, now felix was back in his arms but crying because of changbin's actions. he had missed felix so much, he couldn't explain his regret for doing this to him.

the point of changbin coming over was for them to talk things through but felix was in no state to talk right now.

"look at me."

he pulled away from the hug, placing his hands on felix's teary cheeks, smiling warmly.

"oh you ruined your make-up, you know i always thought you're so pretty when you wear pink around your eyes like that." he whispered, wiping away the smudged mascara with his sleeve.

felix nodded softly as he leaned into changbin's hands, smiling through his tears.

"you're also so beautiful without any make-up at all."

felix smiled even more, looking at changbin as he wiped away his tears.

"let's not worry about talking right now, we can watch your favorite movie and cuddle, we can order food and take a nap together, whatever you want."

"that sounds amazing." felix whispered.

he knew it was important that they talked things out but it didn't have to be immediately, all felix really wanted was to be in changbin's arms again, pressed up against his chest with the amazing feeling of having his hair played with, relaxing into his warm hug and feeling safe.

changbin pulled away from the hug and took felix's hand, taking him inside, he stopped at the couch and looked at felix with a smile.

"i love that you got dolled up for me, but go and take it all off and change into something comfortable, okay?"

felix giggled and nodded, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

"okay."

"and i know you still have my favorite sweatpants, you didn't throw them out or burn them right? i definitely deserve that but it would be good if i could wear them now."

felix laughed and shook his head.

"i still have them."

"you're an angel, i'll wait here."

felix nodded and walked towards his room, opening the bottom drawer of his nighstand and taking out changbin's sweatpants, taking them to him in the living room before going back to his room.

changbin told him to take his makeup off and be comfortable but he didn't fully want to, he changed into shorts and an oversized sweater and sat down at his desk, he took off the ruined makeup and wiped his eyes before putting on concealer and very subtle foundation.

he jumped when he heard tutting and looked up, seeing changbin stood in the doorway.

"you don't need to wear makeup right now, for starters it will get on my shirt when you cuddle up to me because we both know that you can't resist it when you lay on my chest, and i also want to see your freckles, they're so cute."

felix whined and looked at him.

"but my skin is patchy and-"

"ah ah, hush."

changbin grabbed a makeup wipe and lifted felix's chin, starting to gently take off the make-up he had put over his freckles, smiling as they came into view.

felix looked up at him, his own smile fading when he saw changbin smile at him. he had missed him so much and the thought that things wouldn't be the same again between them broke his heart.

changbin watched felix's smile fade and sighed, throwing away the wipe and cupping his cheek.

"i'm sorry felix."

changbin could see that he was hurting and it made him feel awful.

"i... it's okay-"

"no, it isn't okay, i left you when you needed me the most because i was selfish, i fucked you over and i don't think you should forgive me, i hurt you and i don't think i can forgive myself, i don't know what was going through my head, god i missed you so much."

felix stood up from his desk and hugged changbin tightly.

"can we just watch a movie together, please?" felix whispered.

he didn't want to cry again, he was just thankful that changbin was sorry, he knew he shouldn't forgive him or take him back but felix was so emotionally weak he couldn't not. all he could do is desperately hope changbin meant it.

"of course, come on."

changbin lead felix to the living room and sat down, pulling felix down next to him, immediately pulling him closer and watching felix cuddle into his chest, smiling as he moved his arms around the younger.

"you're softer than i remember." felix mumbled.

changbin chuckled and rubbed the back of felix's neck like he always used to when he was tense.

"i guess i gained some weight."

"it's definitely a good thing, do not go on a diet."

changbin smiled and looked down at felix.

"whatever you say sweetheart."

felix got butterflies as he cuddled into changbin's chest, feeling so much more relaxed now he could be close to the man he loved.

=♡=