Deeper into Darkness | ChanHoMin

3

chan was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone when he heard banging on the door.

seungmin was upstairs and minho was in the garage so he stood up to go and answer it. he was slightly weary however sinnce the banging was loud and impatient.

he pulled open the front door, his eyes widening.

"felix?"

felix held up his phone with the news story, tears brimming in his eyes.

"what the fuck did you do?!"

"felix please hear me out."

"no! you took advantage of me! he was here the whole fucking time?!"

"please listen?"

"what? was he across the hall while i was giving myself to you?!"

he was crying hard now as he yelled, shaking.

"felix please listen to me, i want to explain."

"explain how you used me? knowing how hurt i was?"

"i'm sorry, i'm so stupid i know, i'm a horrible person but we felt so guilty, we did what seungmin asked so we could help him but seeing you in the media missing him so much made us feel awful so we invited you here to try and comfort you but it got out of hand, i'm not good at being comforting and what i did was the only way i could think of comforting you, i know it was horrible of me but don't blame minho or seungmin, neither of them had any knowledge about it, it wasn't planned it kinda just happened. i'm so sorry felix, i really am, i didn't mean to take advantage of you, after i did it i've been feeling awful for months, i regret how i handled my own urges."

felix covered his face and tried to calm down, he was too weak to continue being so angry, the pain overpowered the rage.

"i missed seungmin so much, i feel so betrayed that he was safe the whole time and didn't even send me a note to tell me he was okay, then you invited me here and let me worry like an idiot while he was in the same building."

"i'm sorry, if there was a word to better express how sorry i am i would use it."

felix tried to take a breath.

"i can't even bring myself to stay mad at him."

"he really didn't mean to hurt you, he's missed you so much."

"i needed him so much."

chan cautiously reached for felix's hand, taking it even though he tried to pull away.

"come with me, you can see him."

felix sniffled and nodded slowly, letting chan pull him into the house.

he led felix upstairs, stopping at seungmin's door, thanking the heavens that it wasn't all locked up. he knocked gently before opening it.

"baby?"

seungmin looked up from the floor under the window, sitting with his blanket over his shoulders, reading. he smiled at the nickname.

"yes?"

"you have a visitor."

seungmin tilted his head a little, his eyes widening when chan let felix into the room.

"lixie?!"

seungmin put his book down and got up quickly, running to felix and hugging him.

felix just started to cry immediately, unable to help but hug seungmin back.

"how could you do that to me seungmin?"

"what?"

"you let me worry about you for three years," felix pulled away to look at him "changbin left me because i spent so much time looking for you, i celebrated your birthday alone every year, i spent nights in your apartment, i cried myself to sleep because i was terrified to imagine what you were going through, and you were safe the whole time and didn't even send me a note!"