Final Girl

BONNIE

Sometimes I dream that I'm on fire.

In the heart of the forest, where Lucy and I used to play tag when we were kids, I see myself strapped down on a pyre as flames inch up to me. First, they slowly incinerate my clothes from my body, leaving me completely bare. Then the flames touch my skin, burning my flesh until I'm nothing but ash. And I feel none of it.

Because dreams are only snippets of a reality where a version of myself may or may not ever exist. I know this, and it's what exempts me from feeling the excruciating pain she does as I watch her (me) open her mouth in agony only to have no sound escape her lips.

It's when she turns to me that I wake- emerald eyes mirrored on my own being the last thing I see.

The dreams make me wonder sometimes. Is that how I'm meant to die? Has my fate been sealed in flames that will singe my skin until I am nothing? I think about it all the time...and today is no different.

The sun rises long after I've welcomed a new day, and Abby finds me already wide awake as she burrows into my bedroom and pounces on the bed on top of me. It's funny, she is so wound up sometimes that I've never known her to jump onto anything. Most times all she knows to do is constantly look over her shoulder that I worry someday her neck will stay that way.

This is a special day though. Momentous even. So, I welcome the little bit of unrestrained joy I see on her face when I roll over to get her off me.

Her eyebrows furrow at the sight of me, and she doesn't hide the concern I hear in her voice when she says, "You didn't sleep," as she cups my cheeks to examine the dark circles under my eyes.

"I was too excited to sleep" I say with a tired smile, then I lean into her touch to assure her that I'm okay.

I've never told Abby about my dreams. I've never told anyone for that matter. Dreams are never just dreams to a witch, they're a portal. The trouble is I'm not even a real witch yet. As far as my coven's concerned, I'm just a human girl waiting to get her magic. I'm not supposed to have the inside scoop on any kind of past, present or future, let alone my own. Aside from that, Abby's had enough heartache to last her a lifetime. I don't need to burden her with dreams that have no bearing on the here and now- a time so significant because today I finally become a real member of my coven.

I will no longer feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I will finally belong.

Getting my magic is a privilege.

"You are privileged, Bonnie. Once you become a witch you can protect our family." This is a reality of which I am constantly reminded even though Salem is a place where nothing ever happens, and we are witches who have been in hiding in the depths of the woods since the beginning of time. Not that I will ever point that out. I am the youngest, the only one yet to get any magic that will make me useful. No one ever really wants to hear my opinions on anything. They just need me to be agreeable, which I always am. With a smile on my face.

There is no point in pushing back against traditionalists. They're set in their ways, with centuries of customs and "the way things are done" to back them up. One custom specifically makes this day so pivotal to the part I will play:

Secunda Divina: The Ceremony of Second Birth.

The last one was three years ago when Lucy turned 17. The entire coven came and stood amongst the trees around her while Lucy stood at the center of a circle of burning torches, right below the full moon.

I'll never forget that day. I was on top of the roof of our house trying to get a good look at her through the trees and I remember being mesmerized by the way her hair flew in the wind that picked up as our coven chanted all around her. I was too far away to hear their words or see much of anything, but I could sense how powerful she became even from such a great distance.