When The Sun Shines

closure

~chapter 11 : closure~

7:19 pm 

Y/N POV

The car ride home was silent , but Hoseok tried to lighten the mood by playing some songs on the radio. It was quite but it gave me time to clear my mind and give proper definition to my thoughts , so i can tell what happened to Hoseok and Taehyung. They deserved closure. Hoseok kept checking back on me , smiling occasionally. It made me realize everything , how immature it was of me to leave them alone in despair. 

I reached home , and it felt nice to be back. The place was spotless unlike how monstrous i left it. I really didn't deserve them. The last time i saw this place , it was just dirty clothes , lying everywhere and.....blood.

The memories of that night haunt me and keep evading my brain every time. I hated that. I kept feeling guilty , regretting how foolish and rash it was. I remembered what was my priority : giving Hoseok and Taehyung the closure they deserve. I quickly change into a fresh pair of pajamas and i peek out of my room , scanning the living room. My eyes land on Hoseok preparing tea in the kitchen and Taehyung sitting around the couch.

I clear my throat and proceed to whisper "uhm...Hobi , Tae....we need to talk"
that alerts the both of them who looks at me , i sit on the floor near the soban (a short legged table , especially used in southeast Asian culture ) Hoseok bought months back. Hoseok approaches me and Taehyung , whose seated on the other side of the table , handing out mugs filled with ginger honey tea , my favorite.  

I sip a bit , Hoseok smiles at me  "what is it?"
"uhm... About the past 7days.."
"y/n , its fine if you don't tell us the reason , we know you were going through a lot. Don't stress yourself over that.." taehyung says , a tone of concern clear in his voice.
"no...you guys deserve to know , i was given a chance to reflect and think about what i did. The past seven days , i was reminded of how much I'm cherished , I'm never doing anything like this. that night , i was just confused ....overwhelmed with anger"

"we understand y/n " Taehyung smiles back at me.
"you know the day you got evicted hobi " I ask Hoseok
"yeah , what about it" 
"its been a huge dream of mine to publish my own book...the day you came to my house , i got an offer from my literary agent Mr.Kim seokjin....he told me that a publishing house owned by a yoohoon kim was interested....and that he's satisfied with the manuscript.." 

i bite my lower lip before taking a deep breath as i continue
"the morning of the attempt , he called me to meet me at the vanilla café. He told me that the owner fled because he went bankrupt...and...h-he fled with my advance deposit , nearly 550 euros....i saved that money ...that bastard fled. And then Mr.Kim told that he's leaving to Seoul as well and .....that he wont be my agent anymore....he told me to file a complaint but nothing except anger got ahold of my brain....moreover i was thinking of how that bastard could plagiarize my work. "
"oh" taehyung whispered
I sadly smile "that truckload of information got a hold of me and then i was angry , furious , scared , confused ...everything at once
i-i wanted to cope up with it , so i thought it'll be better to disappear"
"y/n-ah , we understand , but you've gone through so much...im proud of you" hoseok says
"i know , i know... i've gone through a lot , but i felt hopeful that my life would piece in , that it's going to be better , that my life would finally have purpose , but then one day.."
"all of your hopes got crushed and that was your breaking point" taehyung muttered blankly , almost like he had gone through that as well and then looks up at me with a sad smile
"yeah"
"i know" he sadly smiles

"Tae did you know about this" hoseok asks
"well yes , partly because they had meetings in the café at noon and then i and y/n used to hang out. I thought she must've told you" taehyung says
"oh....no , i didn't know that" hoseok says
i speak up "im sorry hobi" i hold his hand "im sorry i didn't tell you , the day i got the news , i felt it was better to keep quiet and then i forgot to mention it to you"
"its okay y/n...im sorry as well" he rubs his thumb over my hand, a comforting smile appears on his face.
"im sorry hobi..im sorry tae...the past 7 days i was reminded of how much i was loved and how irrational and immature of me it was to do such a thing."
" its okay y/n-ah. Dont worry" Hoseok gets up , followed by us both.
I look at them and then at the floor. I just couldn't find it in myself to look at them. They saved me and im just burdening them....
Just then hoseok hugs me. The only comfort i needed. Taehyung joins me too. We revel in each others embrace, a tear escapes my eyes "im sorry guys , i dont deserve you...thank you , thank you for everything " i break down , crying against their shoulders. 

Hoseok wipes away my tears as we break the hug, his eyes glassy as well. 
"dont leave us again y/n-ah" taehyung said , his smile fading away as tears spill. 

I felt vulnerable and ashamed but apart from that , i felt loved . accepted and cherished. That was all what matters. Thank you Hoseok and Taehyung...