BY ERIC SWITZERPUBLISHED 2 DAYS AGO
At the end of Pokemon Heroes, Ash gets kissed by a Latias disguised as a girl, and that's not even the weirdest part.
Welcome back to Pokemon Movies in Review, a weekly recap of the entire Pokemon cinematic universe. This week we’re revisiting Pokemon Heroes, the fifth movie in the series and the last to premiere in American movie theaters until 2017. Pokemon Heroes opened on only 196 screens and failed to compete with Finding Nemo, earning only $756,381, making it the lowest-grossing Pokemon movie of all time. Despite its commercial failure, Pokemon Heroes isn’t a total disaster. In fact, it excels in a number of ways that the previous Pokemon movies failed. At just one hour and 11 minutes long, it’s tied for the shortest Pokemon movie, but its story is well-paced and its characters are surprisingly memorable, even compared to the rest of the series. Pokemon Heroes doesn’t have the legacy that Mewtwo Strikes Back, Pokemon 2000, or even Pokemon 3 has, but it did give us one of the most bizarre romance plots of all time — and it ends with Ash Ketchum becoming a father.
Pokemon Heroes takes place on an island just beyond the Johto region called Alto Mare, and it’s unequivocally my favorite setting of any Pokemon movie so far. Alto Mare is a Venetian city where the residents travel along canals instead of roads. It’s a warm and beautiful place with a rich history, and the film does an exceptional job of presenting it right from the start.
The film opens with Annie and Oakley, two Team Rocket cat burglars who have broken into a library to steal a book about Alto Mare’s history. They learn about the Soul Dew, a gem that contains the soul of a Latios, which can be used to power the city's defense system. As they make their escape in their convertible that turns into a jet, we see Alto Mare’s incredible skyline as it appears on the horizon.
After the titles appear over a top-down view of the island, the next scene is the start of the annual Tour de Alto Mare, a world-famous water race through the canals of the city. We’re taken on a high-speed tour through the Alto Mare as Ash and Misty speed through the waterways, under archway bridges, and up and down narrow stairways that connect the various districts. The city is filled with more people and Pokemon than we’ve ever seen in a Pokemon movie before. The intro does a fantastic job of establishing Alto Mare as a real place with history and personality that deserves to be protected — far more than Pokemon 4Ever’s magical forest ever did.
After Misty wins the race, the runner-up offers her, Ash, and Brock a tour of the city. Pikachu is briefly separated, and when Ash finds him, he’s with a strange girl who cannot speak. We soon learn that this is a Latias in disguise. The Latias - and her brother, a Latios - are the children of the Latios that gave his life to protect the city and became the Soul Dew. Now, they live in Alto Mare under the watchful eye of a gondola builder who remembers Latios saving his life. They’ve been able to stay hidden by using their powers to turn invisible and disguise themselves as people, but Annie and Oakley have big plans for the legendaries, as Team Rocket grunts are wont to do.
Ash saves Latias from Annie and Oakley shortly after their first encounter, and Latias quickly develops a crush on him. After a visit to the museum where he learns about the city's Dew Soul-powered defense system, Ash follows Bianca - the real girl that Latias is disguising herself as - through a secret portal into the city's idyllic hidden garden. There, he finally meets Latios and Latias for the first time as themselves.
Latias is infatuated with Ash. Disguised as Bianca, Latios drags him around the park by his hand, plays on the swings with him, and steals his baseball cap to flirt with him. It’s innocent and charming, but it’s undeniably a romantic interest.
That night, Annie and Oakley set their plan in motion. They start by capturing Latios and stealing the Soul Dew from the secret garden, then head to the Museum to activate the defense system. Latias rushes to find Ash, and together they return to the Museum, rescue Latios, and shut down said defense system. Unfortunately, the Soul Dew is corrupted in the process, and Latios has to sacrifice himself to protect the city from an apocalyptic tidal wave - just as his father did.
It’s a slightly convoluted plot thanks to some loose motivations and explanations that don’t totally make sense. It’s not clear why Oakley wants to use the defensive system against the city, or why using the city’s own defense system would cause it to be destroyed by a tidal wave, but ultimately it’s always nice when stories are cyclical. Pokemon Heroes follows a lot of the same beats as Pokemon 4Ever - namely, a power-hungry Team Rocket grunt captures a Legendary Pokemon to exploit its energy for destructive ends - but it does a much better job of showing us what’s really at stake. When Latios gives his life, much like Celebi (almost) did in Pokemon 4Ever, it feels like he died for a worthy cause and not simply because the film needed a moment of pathos. Alto Mare is an iconic Pokemon location that I hope can be revisited in a game someday, and though I found Latios and Latias’ constant dolphin-squealing to be pretty obnoxious, I was still pleasantly surprised by how much personality and charm these otherwise forgettable Legendaries had.
Which brings us to Pokemon Heroes’ ending, and a stinger that was so shocking I had to rewind several times because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. As Ash and his friends depart Alto Mare, Latios - disguised as a girl - runs up to the dock and plants a kiss on Ash’s cheek. Ash is shocked, Brock is jealous, but before Ash can say anything, Latias runs off. As the credits roll and the heroes set sail, Ash looks up in the sky and sees Latias flying above him, flanked by baby Latios and Latias.
Now, look. I’m not saying for a fact that those are Ash’s babies. I know it sounds crazy, a human and a Pokemon having children together after a kiss on the cheek, but you have to consider the intent. Movies have always found creative ways to represent sex for sensitive audiences. During the Hays Code era in the ‘40s and ‘50s, filmmakers used lots of metaphors for fornication. Hitchcock used a train entering a tunnel at the end of North by Northwest, The African Queen turned a sex scene into an adventurous boat ride, and in The Fountainhead, Patricia Neal and Gary Cooper have an erotic encounter over a power drill. Never in a million years would Pokemon feature a sex scene, but Ash’s role in saving Alto Mare and ensuring its future positions him as the father of the next generation, metaphorically speaking.
And if Ash isn’t the dad, then her brother is.
Next week we’ll be revisiting Pokemon Jirachi - Wish Maker, a film that has been excluded from multiple Pokemon movie marathons on Disney and Twitch because it was originally distributed by the Harvey Weinstein-founded film company Miramax. Wish Maker has no reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, meaning whatever I write about it will form the basis of critical reception for the film, so I’m pretty excited about it. Let’s hope Ash and Jirachi don’t have sex.
I am staring at the sight with no words utter, until Deadpool popped in his house.
Deadpool: So, what are you going to use to kill me this time?
Deadpool sees me emotionless as he then wave his hand in front of me. He look at my laptop to see the article. Deadpool went to grab a can of Sunkist: Berry Lemonade, sit down next to me, & open it, causing me to snap me out.
Me: What just happen?
Deadpool: You were staring at this article for how long.
Me: Oh.
I grab the can, drink it, but then spit it out.
Me: How is this possible?!
Deadpool: Hey, Khiry.
Me: What?
Deadpool: You remember the time when you said, if this funny pregnant moment gets in your childhood, you will get raped by a DC villain?
Me: ..............which one?
Deadpool only smiled.
Deadpool: Well--
Something burst through the window, grab me & flew out.
To Be Continued...
