BOUND TO MY MATE

CHAPTER 33

Love is not about finding the right person but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have initially but how much love you've built in the end. (Google / unsure)

I have no idea why I would willingly admit to Cal that I felt safe with him. Although it was the truth, I couldn't fathom why I decided to tell him, let alone smile as I said it. My cheeks turned a brighter shade as I waited on his response. Uncertainty about what he thought of me plagued my mind. It's not like he didn't know I had a mate. What kind of woman must he think of me?

"Darling, you will always be safe with me." His perfect smile flashed briefly, "Obviously, I could protect you better than that puppy you call a wolf." He did very little to hide the irritation in his voice.

I took a deep breath. "Cal, I have no idea why you want to be with me. I keep telling you over and over that Elijah is my mate. We are meant to be together." I took another deep breath as I watched his face closely. "Admittedly, I have feelings for you, which I have told you before. But I can't imagine my life or any life without Elijah."

His face was like a stone as he sat there glaring at me. The only movement I saw was a slight twitch his lips made when I mentioned Elijah being my mate.

"Did it ever occur to you that you love Elijah because you believe that you have to? Think about it, my dear little one." He leaned in and brushed his fingertips across my lips. "How can you be so sure that he is the one? You feel strongly for him because of the mate bond; what would you truly feel without it? Can you say for certain that he is your one and only?"

Was he right? I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about what he said. I was told he was my mate before I even met him in my previous life. I barely noticed Elijah at first in this life, and I only started to feel the bond once he saved me in the forest.

"Well, what makes you sure you're right for me?" I asked as I poured some juice and took a sip.

"Honestly, I'm not sure I'm the right wolf for you. But there is no doubt that you're the right princess for me. I have never craved anything or anyone more than I crave you. I want you. All of you, Helena." He paused, " I always thought that I was complete. Content with my life and existence, but that night so many years ago when I found you haunted me. Did you know that I dream of you often?" He gave a low chuckle. "A dream where you're lying in my arms with your head on my chest. Safe and loved within my embrace. In my home. I am not the best wolf and far from the noblest, but I want to improve. No, I want to do better for you. I have no right to want you, but I do. Why can't you be a star in my lonely infinite universe? I need you to light up my existence before I go mad."

He mumbled the last part so low that I wasn't sure what he said.

My heart was pounding so loudly that I was sure he could hear it. I didn't know what to say, and I wanted to reach out and wrap him in my arms, telling him everything would be okay and that he would find someone to love him the same. But I didn't want anyone else to love him, touch him, or receive his gorgeous smile. I know it's selfish to covet his love, especially when my heart belongs to someone else, but I couldn't help it.

"Ca--Cal, I don't know what to say." I uncharacteristically stuttered. "I can't be without Elijah. I love him." I whispered.

Despite all the doubts and questions in my mind, I still believe that Elijah and I are meant to be together. We didn't go through all we went through to lose faith in each other now. I must trust that all this suffering and loss was for a reason.

"Are you sure he loves you the way you love him? He couldn't even wait for you, Helena. Do you understand if he valued you as a mate, he wouldn't have let any other woman touch him, fuck him, let alone promise to marry them? He is not as noble as you think." He scoffed.

Glaring at him, I abruptly stood up from the table. How dare he? And this is the second supernatural creature that told me Elijah didn't care for me because he had sex with someone else. But Cal had forgotten something, and I was sure to remind him.

"You had me killed! So, how can you sit here and confess your undying love for me as if those events did not take place? Elijah is a lot of things, but he didn't have me murdered because I didn't want to be with him or go through with some insane plan of world domination."

Before the sentence was out of my mouth, Cal stood before me, gripping my wrists so tightly I knew they would bruise. He pulled me so close that I could feel his heart beating against the palm of my hand.

"I didn't have you murdered! I sent them to retrieve you and perhaps kill Elias if he got in the way. But I never wanted you to get hurt; believe me, they paid for their mistakes with their lives. I admit I was a little over the top, but I did not think clearly then. Your death has haunted me for centuries, Helena." The sadness in his voice was unmistakable.

His grip loosened on my wrists, and we stared at each other. I was confused and torn between what I believed was right and what was right.

He cleared his throat. "Can we start over, Helena? I'm not asking for you to come run away with me now, but please give me a chance to right my wrongs." With a slight smile, he said, "I'm sure the reward would be worth the risk." His eyes gleamed with mischief.

How funny he would mention risks. Did he know that I am a risk-taker? But this could be a risk I'm not willing to take. And the reward would only be my heartache and the destruction of my life. With that knowledge, I wanted so desperately to deny his request. To cut all ties and go back to my mate, where I knew what awaited me, but instead, the exact opposite came out of my mouth.

I smiled, "Sure, we can start over, but I'm not sure I can give what you're asking of me. I don't want to lead you on, Cal. My heart belongs to Elijah. Can you accept my friendship only?"

"Do you care to see the rest of my castle?" He shrugged, "I love a challenge, by the way."

With a sigh, I walked towards him, accepting his outstretched hand. Indeed, I am asking for trouble, I silently thought.

"Earlier, you called me a princess. Is that why you dressed me up this way? And speaking of that, did you undress me?" My eyes narrowed.

"You are a princess, love. And I didn't have to undress you. When I brought your consciousness here, I merely envisioned what I thought would be appropriate clothes for you. I could have easily dreamt of you naked, but I figured you would be upset."

He smirked as he opened a glass door leading to what looked like a garden.

I playfully smacked his arms. " Well, good thing you're smarter than you look then." I motioned to the tiara, "Is this real?"

"Yes, it belonged to my mother, and now it belongs to you. If you want it, that is." He looked at me with a meaningful gaze.

"It certainly is lovely, but maybe you should give this to someone who deserves it," I said as my eyes closed.

"You deserve everything the light touches." He replied.

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