BOUND TO MY MATE

CHAPTER 28

Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced...It is that absence of envisaging that you will ever be cheerful again. The lack of hope. That very deadened feeling is very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts, but it's a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different. JK Rowling.

The brain is a complex organ that controls every process that regulates your body. A confusing system of nerves connects the brain to communicate from cell to cell in a split second. But what happens when your brain shuts down? Does your body understand that you're no longer processing anything correctly? As silly as this may sound, I felt like every cell in my body was disintegrating. It almost felt like everything I needed to survive was somehow taken away.

Is this what depression feels like?

It had been a while since Sarafina left, and I hadn't moved much. I was oddly content to stay there and wait for my death. After all, I had died before, but my mate had beaten me to the other side this time. Not to mention, no spell ensured that we would be reincarnated together. I curled into a ball, rocking back and forth as the movement lulled me into a restless sleep. A searing light illuminated behind my lids, and the feeling felt all too familiar.

I was being pulled to a long-forgotten place. A place that I didn't want to be. The outlining of the familiar oak tree comes into view. I have no idea why I am back here, especially since this place reminds me of my dead mate. My feet start moving toward it; I know it's not my own. Something or someone is pulling me to it.

Moments later, I am standing under it while a cool breeze bounces over me, and I greedily drink in the warm, peaceful feeling it brings me.

"Is that better? I was beginning to think I lost you." An angelic voice says from behind me.

I spun around, half expecting to see Elijah, but I knew it wasn't him when I thought it. The voice was too soft to be his. Behind me stood a woman who could have been over 6 ft tall with long dark chestnut hair, golden brown eyes too light to be human, with the most incredible luminescent smile I had ever seen.

"Goddess Selene?" I asked, but it came out more like a question rather than the statement I meant it to be.

"Yes." She just stated.

I felt anger.

"Why are you here? Why now have you decided to show yourself? Where the hell were you when Elijah was dying without me?" My anger froze me in place.

Her eyes glowed darkly. She was angry. She was even pissed. I watched as she did what I'd seen Elijah do dozens of times when trying to control his anger.

Moments later, her shoulders relaxed, and her face took on a more thoughtful expression.

"I understand you're upset, so I will let your utter disrespect slide. Losing a mate is never easy." She smiled a sad smile with tears that threatened to escape. "But don't confuse my empathy with submission." She threatened. "You are sitting in that basement wishing to die. Rotting away like some pitiful fool will not help your situation more than you standing there blaming me. Life is just life, dear one. This was meant to be your fate like my fate to be a Goddess. You must accept what you need to accept and move on." Her voice rang with authority.

Somewhere in my mind and heart, I knew what she said was right, but I couldn't understand how to pick myself up and move on. I only briefly had Elijah in this lifetime; all I wanted was for him to be in my arms. She told me only he loved me and that I was his.

The tears I tried so desperately to hide couldn't help but fall. Selene's strong arms wrapped around my shaking body.

"I know it is hard, but you must fight. It's not just about you and Elijah. You must fight for your friends, family, and those who wish to love another, regardless of the species. Are you the first human to fall in love with someone supernatural? You happen to be a daughter of mine. And that in itself makes you special." She continued to rub my back.