Differences

Two

"I'm sorry."
Kelly glances away from the road to look over at him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
A harsh laugh leaves him, the force hurting his throat. "I left you a voicemail that reeked of desperation and then didn't say anything to you for a month. You only got one text so you knew I was alive."
His hands tighten on the steering wheel. "You asked for help, Evan. You can't be sorry about that even if you could've done it in a better way." His right hand leaves the steering wheel to squeeze Evan's knee, before twisting his arm so his hand is palm side up. He's not surprised that Evan immediately latches onto it.

The rest of the drive is quiet, both men tired. Arriving at the apartment, they grab their duffel bags before heading inside. Kelly lets out a whistle seeing the space for the first time in person.

"Hell of a lot nicer than that frat house you were living in."
Evan groans, "don't talk to me about that place. It was so loud all the time." He then yawns, his jaw popping in the process.
"Think we can afford a two hour nap?" Kelly asks, already heading up to the loft.
"Probably. I don't know how long you're in town though." He says, following him up.
Kelly takes off his shoes and barely manages to take off his jeans before collapsing into the king size bed. "I'll tell you when we wake up."
He shakes his head before doing the same. "You're going to regret not taking a shower."
"So are you."
"You'll also regret leaving the shirt on."
Kelly rolls over to look at the younger man with a glare. "I hate that you know me so well."
"Sure." He chuckles, admiring the new skin that's being revealed as Kelly takes his shirt off.

As soon as the man is laying back down, Evan follows. Curling into him despite being taller. "I missed this." He mumbles, sleep already taking over.
"I missed you." Is the last thing he hears, before he's completely pulled under.

The Chicago native isn't surprised that he wakes up a little after an hour of falling asleep. He had never been good at sleeping during the day unless he was on shift. He slowly sits up, making sure Evan stays asleep as he adjusts until his back is pressed against the headboard and the younger's head in his lap. His right hand comes down to run it's fingers through the short blonde hair, while his left grabs at his phone.

He first goes through the texts he had gotten while asleep, smiling at a photo Casey had sent him, it was blurry at best, but it filled his chest with warmth. The blurry picture shows a nineteen year old Evan standing next to a thirty-two year old Kelly, large grins on both of their faces as they look at the camera.

"What are you looking at?"
Kelly looks down at Evan, before showing him. He watches as a soft smile appears on his face.
"I love that photo. Probably my favorite."
"Same here." The two's eyes meet and they both stare at each other for a minute before the sound of a phone going off makes them look at the device that had disturbed them.

Evan groans seeing that it's his sister who had texted him. "Maddie is coming over after her shift."
"When will that be?"
He shrugs, "Four, maybe? Depends on traffic."
Kelly nods, before gesturing for him to get up. "C'mon, you need to eat and drink something. Your voice sounds horrible."
"Thanks."
He rolls his eyes, following Evan out of bed and downstairs. "You have groceries, right?"
"Of course I have groceries, Kelly. I'm not starving myself."
Kelly sighs, "I wasn't saying that. I just know sometimes all you like to eat is protein bars for whatever god awful reason."

Evan ignores the usual warm feeling that settles in him at how well Kelly knows him, choosing instead to question the man. "So, how long are you staying here?"
He shrugs, opening the fridge and pulling out the juice. "As long as I'm needed. Boden knows not to expect me back for at least two weeks, but he won't be surprised if I'm gone a month or two."
His eyebrows raise, "What do you mean a month or two?"
Kelly sighs, setting down the glasses in his hands. "Evan, that voicemail scared me. And I'm not asking you to apologize. I don't want you to. It freaked me out though. I knew things were rough, you haven't exactly hidden that. I just didn't realize that it was that bad otherwise I would've flown down earlier."
Evan nods, looking down at the floor to avoid Kelly who's looking at him. He swallows around the lump in his throat. "He's not mad at me is he?"
He shakes his head, walking over to younger and wrapping him in his arms. "No, Boden isn't mad. Worried, yes. Casey is too, though."

He can't hold back the sob that escapes him or the ones that follow as he pretty much falls into Kelly, who is expecting it and just holds him tighter. They stand there for who knows how long as Evan shakes in the older's arms and leaves marks on his back from where his nails dig in and wets their skin with tears. As the shaking stops and Evan can finally stand, Kelly slowly pulls away from him.

It's now that Kelly looks at him, he can finally breathe. This looks like his Evan. The man that was always so open with him and didn't hide a damn thing from him. This is the man that he's shared countless nights with in bed, tangled together in a lover's embrace. That he's seen at his strongest and weakest, who's seen him at his strongest and weakest and never once judged or shyed away from him.

It's now that Evan doesn't feel like the weight of the world is sitting on his shoulders. Seeing Kelly at the firehouse had lifted a small bit of that weight and falling asleep curled into him had eased a bit more, but now after breaking down in front of someone he knows he doesn't need to apologize to or will want him to. Who will never use anything to hurt him, all of it leaves him.

He wipes at the tears on his face, a small laugh leaving him. "Fuck, I needed that."
Kelly grins, "Don't we all?"