Differences

Eight

2011/2012

Kelly rubs at his shoulder, wincing when his thumb presses down too hard. With a sigh, his hand drops and his head hits the wall behind him. He can feel the need for something to dull the pain, but with Shay cutting him off, he doesn't know what to do. Anna was an option, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to do that to himself. Use sex as more than a coping mechanism or something fun to do, but as a way to get drugs.

He kicks at the ground, cursing. What had he turned into? Why had he let it get this bad? Why was he so insistent on telling everyone everything was fine, when they tried to even slightly push? With a sigh, he stands straight, no longer leaning against the outside of 51. It's as he goes to kick the ground again, something catches his eye.

There's a guy standing on the sidewalk, a backpack slung over his shoulder, as he looks at 51 in wonder. He can't make out too many details, other than he looks more built than any of the guys at the firehouse and his hair is close to being blonde and curly. Without thinking he walks over to the guy, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind asking him why he was doing this, when he always shied away from talking to people who visited the house unless they were there for him.

"Hey, man." Kelly greets, stopping a foot away from the guy. It's now that he's so close to him and the guy is looking at him, he realizes that while the guy might already be built and just an inch or two taller, he's young.
The guy clears his throat, scanning him. "Hi." He shuffles nervously, "I didn't mean to stare, it's just it's a nice house."
Kelly's eyebrows raise at the word house. "Are you in the academy?"
The guy snorts, "Oh, no. It was recommended to me, but I haven't figured out if it's something I want to do."
"Well, my names Kelly, Kelly Severide, if you have any questions about what we do here, I could answer them." He extends a hand, and isn't too surprised by the firm grip that the other has.
"Evan Buckley, most people call me Buck, though." It's the first time since Kelly has seen him that he's smiling, and something in Kelly wants to always make him smile, to always make sure he has a smile on his face. "And it's not a firefighter related question, but do you know where the nearest hotel is? Or even a motel?"
"You're not from here?" When Evan shakes his head, he chuckles nodding. "Well, it depends on how long you plan on staying and what funds you got."
"Money's not an issue. And I don't know, probably a month or two."
Kelly's eyebrows draw together at that. He didn't know what bothered him more. His mind quickly thinks through all the places he knows, and it's only because of practice that his nose doesn't wrinkle at the idea of this guy staying at one of them for more than a week. Kelly glances down at his watch, an idea coming to mind. "Stay here, I'll be back in like five minutes." He waits for Evan to agree, before he jogs into the house.

He ignores everyone looking at him, as he continues to make his way to Boden's office. The door is open, despite him talking to Casey. Wrapping his knuckles on the door frame, he doesn't look at Casey, eyes glued to Boden. "Hey, can I take the rest of the shift off? I know we've only got an hour left, but something came up."
Boden looks at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out if he's telling the truth, before nodding. "Tell Capp he's in charge."
"Thanks, Chief." He knocks his knuckles against the door frame again, before leaving to the locker room.

He doesn't know if he's ever changed and packed up his stuff so quickly. He considers shoving his squad jacket in his duffel, after sliding on his leather one, but decides against, instead choosing to hold onto it as he walks. He's surprised to see his squad gathered around the table with truck, but shakes it off. "Capp," he waits for the other man to look at him, everyone's eyes on him. "You're in charge for the rest of shift." Before anyone can say anything, he leaves as quickly as he can.

Kelly is pleased to see that Evan is standing where he left him. The younger raises his eyebrows at his change of clothes and the bag on his shoulder. "Get some breakfast with me?" He means for it to come out as a question, but he misses by a few inches.
Evan laughs, "Doesn't sound like I have a choice in the matter, but okay."

-

"Do you want help?"
Kelly jerks away from the bathroom counter where he had been trying to open a bottle of tylenol with one hand. He stares at the nineteen year old, before nodding.
He wordlessly opens the bottle and before Kelly can tell him how many he needs, he's shaking out five into his hand. He wonders for a moment just how Evan knew that he would want that many, need that many. But he shakes the thought away, knowing better to question something so good. Swallowing the pills, he has to try hard to not laugh at Evan's face. "You disgust me."
Kelly lets out a small laugh, taking a swig of water. "You're just jealous I can dry swallow pills, while you have go through half a cup of water for one."
He pouts at him, "It's too early for you to tease me."
"It's nine."
"Yeah and you haven't fed me."
Kelly rolls his eyes, pushing the younger out of the bathroom, as they make their way to the kitchen. "You know, I don't remember that being part of the deal when you moved in, that I would be required to feed you."
"It wasn't until you found out I wasn't eating three meals a day and demanded I start." That look is back on Evan's face, the one where he looks at Kelly as if he's his favorite person in the whole world.
"Three meals a day is important, especially if you want to keep your muscles."

-

His leg bounces up and down as he waits for anything, for a text, a call, for the apartment door to open. He's been this way since Kelly left for the appointment, finally having told his chief that he needed help and had an injury. When the apartment door opens and then is slammed shut, Evan stands up quickly.

"Recovery time has been extended if I get it and apparently no one goes back to duty with this kind of surgery. What kind of answer is that?" Kelly is angry, but there's fear in his voice.
Evan draws him into a hug, not minding that he is just standing there while Evan wraps himself around the older man. 'That was one doctor. You can get a second opinion."
"What is this the only option though?"
Evan pulls away to take his face into his hands. "It can't be and it isn't."
Kelly looks at him confused, "What are you talking about?"
He drops his hands, taking a few steps back. "You know how you asked for the scans to be sent to you right after you got them, even though you wouldn't be able to read them and you would need to wait for your next appointment to go over them?" Kelly nods, so he continues. "I went into your email and downloaded them and sent them to my dad."
"Evan," Kelly breathes, "why?"
"He isn't a good dad, maybe not even a good person, but he's an amazing doctor. Besides he owed me a favor, I called it in. He sent them to a colleague of his, you have an appointment with him in a few hours, over skype, but it's something."

Before he knows what he's doing, which is something that happens too often with him when it comes to Evan, Kelly is pulling him down slightly, and pressing their lips together. The other man is frozen for a few seconds, before he starts to kiss him back, hands grabbing at his waist to pull him closer.

When they break apart, breathing heavy, Kelly waits for regret to set in or panic, but it doesn't come. Instead he feels at ease, like this is what he should've done when he first spotted Evan on that sidewalk.

"I don't deserve you."
"You deserve more than me." Maybe he should be questioning such heavy words that are coming from someone who is over a decade younger than him, but he can't. Not when Evan is looking at him like he always does, like he needs Kelly to be able to breathe, to live, to feel.