YES SIR, NO MISS.

9

"...she lose the ability para maalala na nageexist na ako sa mundo..."

DIANNE's

A plotwist in life that I never see coming through.

All this years I envy every child because they have their mom with them. I grew up sowing anger against my mom—my so called mom when the truth is, minahal niya lang naman ako sa abot ng makakaya niya.

When I was a kid. Galit ako kay Dad kasi buong akala ko iniwan niya kami ni Mom or should I call her Tita Rosa but then bumalik siya—binalikan niya ako. How can I say na ako lang? Dahil ako lang talaga ang binalikan niya. Nung bumalik siya si Tita Rosa naman yung nawala. What do you think a child would feel about it? Yeah, I felt I am a mistake—mistake na ayaw na nilang alalahanin pa kaya lagi nalang nila akong iniiwan. Because of that I grew up having grudges and hating life for being unfair with me.

Kaya siguro naging pasaway din ako—rebel child as what they think.

I hear a knock from my door. "Hey, they are already here." It was Dad. "Okay Dad, sunod na din po ako." Tita Rosa and her family was already downstairs. She should be out of the picture now but I just felt that talking to her will somehow...answer my questions...

"Bali kailan ang balik niyo niyan sa states?" I heard Dad asking Tito Dom

"The real plan was just to really stay for two weeks—for vacation."

"Pero nagkataon din na natapat sa birthday month ni Dianne kaya we decided na magextend pa."

"Oh, speaking of Dianne, teka ng tatawagin ko muna ulit sa taas." I saw Dad about to stand up kaya lumakad na ako papunta sa kanila.

"U-uhm H-hello po." I greeted them politely.

There was an awkward silence. Tita was just staring at me, Dad was hesitant to start a convo, the kids were just playing and Tito Dom—the lifesaver.

"Hmm Elio, Pare. Would you mind touring us around, medyo magulo kasi yung mga bata baka pwede sila sa garden area mo."

"A-ah yeah sure, sure." Dad answered pero he looked at me, asking me if it's fine and I nod with it. I, too needed to talk, thank Tita.

Dad, Tito, and the kids made their way outside. I remember when I was at their age, it was always been a dream for me to have a complete family.

"Faye..." She broke the silence "How are you?" I was confused with her question

"I-I am fine."

"I mean, really how are you, kamusta ka?" I don't know how to answer that question. Mukha lang simple yung tanong pero trust me napakahirap sagutin niyan lalo na kung nasa ganito kang sitwasyon ngayon.

"Alam mo, sabi nila kapag bata ka nageenjoy ka, lahat masaya lang para sayo, lahat pwede mong gawin pero eventually when you aged a bit older...lahat ng nasa childhood mo they became memories minsan nga hindi mo pa maalala yung ibang pangyayari sa buhay mo noong bata ka." Now I knew where this conversation is going.

"When your Dad left, at some point I understood him. Masakit yung nangyari that time para sakanya—but don't get me wrong, I am not on anyone's side here kasi alam ko na mali din naman talaga yung ginawa ng Dad mo pero ayun nga...That time I was also in pain, nakunan ako...I don't know pero parang it was God's will kasi iyon din yung time na nakilala kita..."

"Tita, hindi ka ba nagdalawang isip? I mean pwede naman na hindi mo na ako inako, pwwdeng sa iba mo na lang ako binigay, pwede din na pinabayaan mo na lang ako—"