The Truth

8

When Stevie got back to her room, she immediately started rooting around in her stuff. She only had two pictures of Kinsley. The sweet little baby was just in a diaper and she was laying in the bassinet on her stomach in the fetal position. The nurses and Stevie and had tried to lay her on her back but she'd scream the whole time and she was only content if she was in the fetal position either on Stevie's sternum or in the bassinet. Stevie had taken that picture and one closer up of her little face and when she found the picture of her little face, she looked back and forth between that one and the polaroid. 

"You look like me." Stevie says to no one because she was alone in her room. "I knew you looked familiar when I saw you. I'm so sorry that I spoke to you like that when you came backstage." 

Stevie set the picture down and then she brought her hands up to her eyes and she started crying. It haunted her every day that she had given that baby up. She regretted it. The moment that, that social worker walked out of her room, she regretted it. She regretted it when she got home and she had the belly but she didn't have the baby. She regretted it every time she looked at Lindsey. It hit her like a freight train when they did The Dance and Kristen had announced her pregnancy. Stevie went back to her hotel and she had a panic attack, sobbing, crying, rocking back and forth, pulling on her hair because she'd have a ten year old at that point and it hurt badly. Especially seeing the look of happiness and love on Lindsey's face when he found out he was going to be a dad. She had said over and over again that she should've just told him that she was pregnant because maybe things would've turned out differently. 

"You're 25 now my sweet angel...25."  Stevie sniffles picking the pictures back up and cradling it close. 

***

During Rod's set, Stevie grabbed ahold of Lori and pulled her into her dressing room. "Is she here tonight?"

"She's here...she'll be at every single one of your dates until the tour is over." Lori nods.

"Do you know where she's sitting..." Stevie asks.

"She's in the VIP section, I don't know where in the VIP section, but I know she's in the VIP section." Lori tells her.

"If she has VIP tickets why isn't she coming back stage." Stevie chews on her lip.

"She stopped because you told her to get a life...I finally talked her back into it." 

"When did you start talking to her?" Stevie asks.

"When you told her to get a life." Lori explains.

"Well can you try getting her to come back." Stevie pushes.

"I did...and she did...in Ohio, but Rod was doing the meet and greets those nights and He made a move on her and tried to get her to go back to his room with him. She said she didn't want to risk it anymore." Lori shrugs.

"Oh...I want to meet my baby." Stevie stomps her foot and falls down into her couch. 

"Stevie, she just needs time...She's not too happy about how you handled the letters...she told me she sent you an initial one before she even attempted to follow you on tour, but it was a return to sender. I'm trying I really am...but you just have to give me some time, but we both have to give her time as well."  Lori sighs. 

"If you find her Lori, will you please please please point her out to me." Stevie begs.

"No, because I promised her I wouldn't tell you and because I did tell you, I already broke the promise to her." Lori shakes her head. 

"But I..."

"I'm sorry Stevie, really I am." Lori sighs.

***

"Have you decided if you're going to meet Jessie and Chris yet?" Kitty asks as they drive to the venue of the performance. 

"I think I'm going to...I'd be nice to know my uncle and cousin you know" Kinsley shrugs before looking down and picking at the hem of her shorts, she was wearing a pair of white shorts with a black halter top. Over top she had a black kimono with pink roses on it. Kitty was in charge of driving that night and they had chosen to just head to Pittsburgh after the concert ended that night."

"Do you want me to tag along at Disney or do you want to go alone?" Kitty inquires.

"I want you to go with me. I'll talk to Aunt Lori about it on the 28th, I would just feel more comfortable with you there." Kinsley shrugs.

"And we've never gone to Disney together." Kitty winks.

"That is true, we've never gone to Disney together. We've talked about it a lot but we've never done it." Kinsley nods.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the meet and greet portion tonight?" Kitty changes the subject.

"I'm sure...I think I'm just going to milk it with Aunt Lori until the tours over and then I'm going to just hand her a letter and say give it to her and let it go from there." Kinsley shrugs.

"Are you going to put your phone number on it?" Kitty inquires.

"Probably not...I mean Aunt Lori has it, if she really wants to talk to me then she can get it from Aunt Lori." Kinsley shrugs.

"Are you still planning on moving to LA permanently after all of this is over?" Kitty asks.

"Yeah, I'm going to sell the trailer. I um...I got a consultation meeting with Kristen Buckingham. I'm going to give her a letter for Lindsey Buckingham...I don't know what I'm going to write in the letter yet, but I'm going to at least meet with her." Kinsley nods.

"I'm happy for you Kinz, really I am...Even if things don't work out with your mom and Lindsey might not be your dad, but at least you got a good relationship going with your Aunt so you'll at least have some immediate biological family." Kitty smiles.

"Thanks Kitty..." Kinsley smiles.