Untitled Part 6

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by CanIIntoNordic

by CanIIntoNordic

Esti: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Fin: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Esti: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Russ: Actually I did the math, Fin would have $225, not $0.15.
Fin: Fam I'm right here....
Techp: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Esti: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Techp: Sorry I only have a dollar
Esti: :(
Russ: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Fin would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Techp: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Russ: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Denmark: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Russ: Apply juice to what
Soviet: Directly to the forehead
Fin: Great chat everyone

Esti: Just be yourself.
Fin: 'Be myself'? Esti, I have one day to win Russ over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Techp: Couple weeks.
Denmark: Six months.
Soviet: Jury's still out.
Fin: See, Esti?
Fin: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

*The squad right before Esti's wedding*
Fin: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Denmark: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Russ: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Soviet: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Techp, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

Your prompt:
Esti: I CAN'T DO IT!
Fin, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Esti: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Denmark: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Esti:
Esti: I appreciate it,
Esti: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Russ: Esti-
Esti: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Soviet: Esti we gotta-
Esti: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Esti: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Esti, motioning to Techp: NOT FUCKING THIS

Esti, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Fin: Hey.
Denmark: Hi.
Russ: Hello.
Soviet: Hey!
Esti: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Techp: We were out of Doritos.

Esti: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Fin: Okay, but what is updog?
Denmark: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Russ: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Soviet: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Techp: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Esti: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Russ: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Denmark: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Fin: What's a henway??
Esti: Oh, about five pounds.

Techp: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Fin: >:O language
Denmark: Yeah watch your fucking language
Russ: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DENMARK THE FUCK WORD?
Soviet: 'The fuck word'.
Esti: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Denmark: Oh my god they censored it
Soviet: Say fuck, Esti.
Denmark: Do it, Esti. Say fuck.

Esti: Rules are made to be broken.
Fin: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Denmark: Uh, piñatas.
Russ: Glow sticks.
Soviet: Karate boards.
Techp: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Esti: Rules.
Fin: