Assassination 2136

Chapter 19: To Fall

20 minutes

I had to shield my eyes from the bright light as the large heavy door creaked open. It was bright, brighter than anything I had ever experienced in my life before this point. Everywhere all you could see was white.

But the smells. It smelt fresh, clean, pure. Unadulterated by the stench of human sin and greed. It felt cool, a gentle breeze kissing my skin gently, caressing me as if to say welcome home.

Because I was outside the dome.

As I slowly lowered my hands, my retinas finally were able to adjust to the bright vivid light. It was unlike anything those shitty LED lights could attempt to immigrate. A brightness that could only be described as an ethereal experience, a wondrous and beautiful thing that washed my pain away.

As the brightness ebbed away, my senses were flooded with new information. I was standing on top of a metal grate, several hundred metres above the ground. Looking down, I could see straight to the ground. It was lush, green.

Gazing up to look at the horizon, I saw trees littering the landscape. All sorts of shapes and sizes. There were tall, skinny trees. Some were smaller, more rotund. Their branches filled with leaves and flowers of all sorts of colours.

In the distance I could see a stream. It was a thin stream, weaving its way through the trees and providing life wherever it went. As it traversed the land lazily, it soon emptied into a vast expanse of water. A large blue blob that could only be the ocean. It was darker than the stream, but stretched endlessly into the horizon and gave me a sense of wonder. What was on the other side?

The ocean glistened in the sun light, which drew my attention to the sky. It was so vast, so blue. The ceiling of the dome could not compare to the depth and range of colours up there, so beautiful and clean. Pure.

And the sun. It was marvelous. I'd always been so underwhelmed by the sun depicted in the dome, able to stare at the yellow orb all day and feel no emotion. But this sun, the real thing, I made the mistake of looking directly at it. It made my eyes water, but pulled on my heart strings.

I could hear the running of water, the chirping of birds, and smell the freshness of the air. I closed my eyes, taking it all in as my senses were overtaken by the reality of it all.

And I laughed.

It started as a chuckle, a small bubble of laughter from the chest. Disbelief at the audacity of it all, the situation presented to me. But then it grew, larger and louder until it became a guaff of a laugh. A maniacal part of me taking over as I cackled away.

My body keeled over and I gripped the railing hard, my knuckles turning white from the force. I then leaned back, letting my laughter echo against the trees and reverberate throughout the land. Let them hear me, let them know my pain.

Because it was all a lie. All of it. We weren't safe in the dome, protected from the elements outside. No, we were trapped in the dome, the government keeping us there under a guise in order to control us more effectively. It was all a lie. All of it.

15 minutes

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A twinkling voice said to my left. I ceased my laughing, a sliver of a smile still plastered on my face as I turned to face the new comer.

"It is," I agreed, smiling warmly at the woman to my left. Dovima was staring out across the land, the gentle breeze lifting her gentle blonde curls. She looked content, happy.

"I guess we were both wrong about what was in the room" I chuckled, extending a hand hesitantly towards her. She looked at me then, her blue eyes meeting mine. I loved the way the sunlight caught them, making her iris shine a radiant turquoise colour. She gently placed her hand on top of mine, a warm sensation radiating from her touch all the way up my arm.

"We were wrong about a lot of things," she smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling at the sides. It was a genuine smile, the kind of Dovima smile that made my heart melt. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling me close to my side as we gazed out over the landscape.

My arm around her shoulder, it felt good to finally have her in my arms again. I wished time would stand still, to just share this moment together in peaceful silence. But there were so many things I had to say, so many words I had wanted to say to her since the moment she lay dying in my arms.

"Dovima... I'm so sorry," I whispered, tears springing to my eyes immediately. I gently kissed her forehead, the smell of her hair tantalising in my nostrils. She smiled up at me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault," she replied, her eyes full and beautiful. A sob escaped my throat.

"I dragged you into this mess..." I was crying now, full bodied sobs wracking my body as I knelt in front of Dovima. On my knees, my hands trailing down her long skirt and grasping for anything solid they could find.

It was all too much for me. The assasinations, the cover ups, the MASH. Losing everyone I held dear. It all became too much and I sobbed hysterically. I was so so tired, so tired of fighting all the time.

Five minutes.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, my sobs retreating to mere sniffles as I gazed up at Dovima's face. She smiled down at me, as if I'd never had my outburst at all.

"Only for a second mate," a second voice said. I slowly turned around to see Xyle behind us. He was leaning against the railing, his arms propped up on the ledge. He also had a stick of what I assumed to be PCP, the smoke wafting up into the pure air.

"You can make it as peaceful as you want," Dovima said, drawing my attention back to her. I felt nothing at this point. Not the ache of my body, or the sorrow in my heart. Only determination filled my essence.

I stood, turning to face to new world around me. Grabbing the railing, I hoisted myself up onto the ledge, standing at the top and looking out over the horizon. I glanced down, seeing the multistory drop in front of me.

You know that feeling you get, when you're really high up? When you're looking down at this massive drop, wondering how high it really is. You know you're high up, but you vision plays tricks on you and you get that fluttery feeling in your gut. Being so high up, you aren't moving but you can feel your heart in your throat.

The call of the abyss is an insane feeling. Staring over that ledge, I felt it. It was calling to me, beconning me to jump. To take that final leap, and leave all the hurt and pain behind.

1 minute.

Dovima and Xyle were no longer with me. It was quiet once more, except for my racing heart. Thumping loudly in my chest as I gazed over the beautiful horizon. I marvelled in how amazing it was, revelling in each breath because I knew it would be my last.

I had not lived a life of honour. But I had lived. I had loved. I had struggled my whole life to stay afloat. Be it working two jobs to afford the rent, fighting against addiction, or just fighting against the higher powers that controlled me. I had fought in life.

But my death will be easy. Painless, effortless. I will simply fall and cease to exist. No more struggle. No more fight.

So I jumped.

***

"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past"
- George Orwell