𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 | 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Regret

Probably one of the worst things you could feel, especially if it was alongside loss.

Honestly, regret is a form of punishment in itself.

But not enough of a punishment after all I've done.

My actions repulse me, and everyone around me.

That's why I'm here, with a therapist.

She watches me closely, as I just pick my nails. I wanted to come to therapy to try to come to terms to life now, but I don't have it in me to retell and feel the pain of the relationship.

My therapist, Janet, clears her throat, waiting for some response from me.

I look up while I still pick my nails, "yes?"

"You called for this emergency session Billie. What's going on?" Janet pries.

I did call for it, but now I'm just stuck.

I've had three sessions, and I had made no progress here. Janet only knows I'm here to fix myself and try to move on from a relationship.

The relationship that held the only meaning in my life.

I gulp, and look away from Janet. "I don't know why I called it." I said softly.

Janet readjusted herself and took a deep breath. "Lets start with the things that brought you here, moving on and healing. You can't heal without talking about the relationship."

As much as I knew that, I did not want to hear it.

I bite the inside of my cheek subconsciously, as my lip start to quiver. I knew what talking about it would bring, but I couldn't push it off anymore.

"Her name is Monarch, but don't ever call her that. She'd punch you. She goes by Monnie." 

Janet crosses her legs, and begins writing in her notebook. 'Okay, tell me about Monnie."

I knew there was no going back.