JAMESON
So many things were happening at once. We were getting threats from Maloney and the men he had made deals with and were preparing to meet up with one another in a few days at a secluded area that Guilliano owned.
The problems didn't stop there though, at home. I felt as though I could do nothing right. Ashleigh keeps reminding me the reason for the back and forth emotions is because of the pregnancy hormones but I guess we are all under stress and in a way, THAT doesn't help.
She hasn't talked to me since yesterday morning and it is killing me that she had me sleep on the couch and that she won't talk or even look at me. Although, when I think about as to why, I guess I don't blame her.
Yesterday morning we got into it a little about me going and her staying here again and things weren't as escalated and hurtful until I lost my temper and blurted out something ai didn't mean to.
She was trying to make her point again as to why she wanted to go and the fear would still be felt by her if I left her here and suddenly I snapped and the next words that fell out of my mouth, before I could stop them, I knew I had crossed the line when seeing her face and how more upset she was. But mind you, this was after she poked at the thought of me being a bad father practically, for wanting to go and handle this meeting without her and how I wasn't as serious about us being partners. I swear, this is the kind of things I always tried avoiding. However, the fact that it is with her and that I'm in love with her, I can't leave her knowing she IS upset and that possibly the last thing she remembers.
But again, I snapped and accidentally shouted at her that she needed to think about the baby and be a good mom and stay where it was safer. She took it the wrong way and now I'm in what most would call, 'the dog house' and am not sure how to get out of it.
I was in the office talking with Luciano when I heard a light knock at the door and heard Lizette's gentle and calming normal voice come from the other side of it.
"Jameson? Can we talk?" She says.
"Come in." I have Luciano then get up and leave, closing the door behind him after she walks in and sat down at the chair across from me at my desk.
She looked nervous and was fidgeting with her hands on her lap.
"So, what do you want to talk about?!" I asked.
"I'm sorry. Despite the hormones and all of that, I uhm, I know I need to control it. I shouldn't have said what I did and I know that it is better if I stay here. Because you're right, what kind of a mother am I for not thinking about the safest route. So I'm sorry and I promise that from here on out, I'm going to try and do better in controlling my emotions and outbursts." She says mostly avoiding eye contact with me still.
That nearly tore my heart out with hearing her say that to me. That in a way, broke me.
I didn't say anything and instead just stood up and walked slowly over to her, kneeling down in front of her and taking her hand in mine while having her look into my eyes.
"Lizette, I regret ever telling you those things. It wasn't right. I understand that your body is going through a lot and adding all of this shit on top of it, I know it doesn't help matters. But I love you and I am more than honored to be the father of your baby. I just, I don't know what I would do if I lost you, let alone, out child. Our child and you didn't ask for this life and it would be selfish and unfair for me to ask you to risk everything but, I do understand what you are telling me and I don't want to sound controlling either so, if you want to go, it's your decision." I tell her with a half smile.
Please God, don't let her come. Please tell me that she will choose to stay here.
She began to smile back at me while placing her other hand on top of mine and we didn't say anything else, we just leaner in and kissed.
Moments later when we stopped to catch our breaths a little bit, she told me that she would stay here. But that I needed to make sure I stayed in contact with her as much as I could or Luciano to keep her posted.
Now to me, that was a good compromise. So after 'kissing and making up' with one another, we walked out into the living room and rallied up the guys and Ashleigh to go over the decision she had just made along with the plan.
From here on out, I swear that I will do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't get too emotionally stressed or worked up so that way she won't upset the baby anyways.
I know he/she isn't really a full grown baby, still, I am making sure they have a chance at life. Something I felt was never given to me when I was a kid - in a way.
Next chapter will be posted soon! :)
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The Mafia Boss's Obsession
RomansaLizette has never had an easy life growing up and always felt like she was the black sheep of her family. She didn't grow confidence until after she met her boyfriend who she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. However, after learning...