Corrupted Dreams

A Fear to Lose

We were nearing the third week of the Holy Grail War. Rider, Caster, Assassin, and Berserker have been eliminated, leaving the remaining masters eager to bring it all to an end. With the eager thrum of the escalating battle, people were left on edge, victory so near. This Grail War, Cu and I never had much time together, and those periods thinned as master's became anxious for the end. Though, today, I managed to snag Cu away for an hour for a walk at sunset.

The two of us have been through several Grail Wars since that night on the rooftop, Cu slipping into our relationship so smoothly that it seemed he never left it. He said it was like remembering an old tune; once he had it, it stuck for good. These thoughts drifted nonchalantly through my mind as we moved along the curved park sidewalk.

When the silence never halted in extending its reach, I glanced to Cu. Lips tilted down in a slight frown, dull eyes set vaguely on the path ahead, Cu was the picture of a man emerged in a cloud of thought. The small curse on his brow suggested that his mind dove a little too deep for any casual daydream.

"Hey," I bumped my shoulder against Cu's, his response lagging behind, but eventually red eyes held their attention on me. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important." Cu's gaze swooped back onto the landscape ahead a tad too fast, then shrugged as if to pass off as casual.

"Oh, so very important?"

"No, just general things." He kept his eye ahead, then let his words flow like a river into another sentence. "You know, with those clouds rolling in, it might storm tonight; not too great for fighting in."

"Cu, answer the question."

"What question?"

"You know what."

He finally looked at me again, that calm indifference replaced with his true emotions; annoyance being the first on the list. "Why can't you learn to let things go?" He readjusted his grip on my hand, squeezing a little tighter than before.

"Because," I leaned closer into his ear, "I don't like seeing you troubled." placing a kiss on his head. "So, what's your problem?"

Cu's feet came to a stop, that same thoughtful expression back on his face. I waited patiently for him to speak, and he did eventually. "I was thinking of the last Grail War, well... all of them actually."

"Hmm..." I caught on to where he was going. The last Grail War we were only able to see each other once; our battle. I barely escaped the fight alive, and not looking too good either. Right after, I'd run into rider. Maybe I would have won if Cu never left me so beat up. He saw the whole thing, watched me die, doing nothing to aid me with his master close at hand. Cu was having a hard time with the fact that we are still "enemies".

I led him off to a park bench as he spoke on. "Why do we have to hide this?"

"Hide what?"

"This," he gestured to our intertwined hands. "This wonderful messed up relationship!" His voice crescendoed quickly; it being obvious this subject had been on his mind for a while. "I hate being indifferent to you! I hate wounding you! I hate killing you! I hate being an enemy to you!" Cu went silent, and I listened to that too. "You know, if we were on the same team in the last war, I wouldn't have fought you, and you could have beaten Rider. Or I could have at least helped, for goodness sakes!"

"But Cu, we can't just up and declare ourselves on the same side to make it happen--"

"I know, I know, but we can at least be open about our situation."

"And what? Hope our master's will accommodate for us? Think we'll just team up?"

"Well, it's not impossible."