Corrupted Dreams

Waves from the Storm

"I'm sorry, Cu." Shirou restated for the sixth time. The two of us had just been standing there hugging in his room, neither of us speaking except for the occasional "sorry's" from Shirou. My mind was blank of things to say, and that seemed to be the only thing he knew to say. Eventually pulling back, beating emotions inside of me had finally calmed. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him right now, in fact, I didn't know anything I wanted right now. Currently, there was an awkward trench dividing the two of us, and I didn't know how to build the bridge back up, but maybe some alone time might help.

"Hey, I'm... I'm gonna go." Shirou's lips tightened, but he nodded, prepared to give me the space I needed.

"Okay." He rubbed my biceps, then let his hands fall limp as I drew away. I left his room without saying anything more.

The casual and daily life of the halls of Chaldea were so much different from the tense aura that filled the room I'd just left. It didn't take me long to run into Achilles, and I equipped my typical carefree smile. Once the two of us began talking, he started ranting about his rocky dealings with Diarmuid. I didn't mind listening, it was a lot better than thinking about my own problems. The sedative of his words actually seemed to be working, but eventually, he'd started talking about the mission they'd just got back from. I noticed a recurring theme; every time Achilles spoke Shirou's name, Cas seemed to be right after. Apparently, the two of them were glued together throughout the course of that mission. My mind went to dangerous places. "Hey," I said cutting off Achilles. "Wanna go get a drink at the bar?"

"Sure!" Achilles hopped up from the couch we were sitting on, then held out a hand to yank me up with. As we walked, the man eyed me up and down. "Hey, something bothering you?"

"Hm?" I straightened up my face, unaware I'd been showing any troubling emotions.

Achilles nudged his elbow into me. "Having problems with you're boyfriend already?" He meant it as a joke but read my face afterward to see he'd actually hit something. "Oh... are you?"

"Admittedly, yes."

Achilles clicked his tongue. "Wow, and even after I talked to him about treating you right."

"You what?" The comment actually made me smile.

"Over the mission, after figuring out the two of you were dating, I warned him about treating you wrong."

"Wow, I'm touched, Achilles."

"Hmph, well, it seems I didn't give him a good enough talking to, though, our conversation was cut short. Out of nowhere he just started drilling me with questions about Cas." That sweet moment turned bitter really fast. Achilles seemed to get flustered over something after that. "Um, well, I mean—"

"Hey, is it okay if we didn't talk about Shirou? There are some things I'm trying to detach myself from right now."

"Um... sure." He rubbed the back of his head.

"Thanks." I gave him a minor smile, then took a deep breath, exhaling emotions I didn't want to deal with. Fishing up some topic from the sea of ideas, I started talking about how my week had been, and my dealings with the demon Gil.

***

After leaving Shirou and Setanta, I wandered the halls of Chaldea stiffly. My feet seemed to take me to my room instinctively. Opening the door, I entered finally feeling alive in the solitude. My dogs enthusiastically jumped up to greet me. Crouching down beside them, I allowed the two animals to shower me in their kisses while I vigorously ruffled their fur. "Mm, seems at least you two are happy to see me." Standing up, I walked to the closet and changed. Shirtless with some sweat pants on, I flopped onto my bed, casually stroking the dogs that followed in after me.