Corrupted Dreams

The Mud

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of food. Sitting up, I opened my mouth in a yawn stretching my back. Last night I dreamed of Athru, but the dream didn't leave an ache like it typically does. My morning eyes latched on Shirou. Something tells me he was the reason for it.

Preparing breakfast, Shirou let his eyes leave his work, and go to me. His mouth formed the briefest smile, insecure and awkward, then pulled his eyes back down, licking his lips. I stared at them, moistened and plush, recalling the feeling of my own lips pressed against them. Last night still felt like a dream, a moment in time that had to be far from reality. But it was real, and I had to deal with the consequences.

That moment flipped something in me, bringing me past the point of no return. The weight on my chest had been greatly relieved, but now I acknowledged the full scope of my problems, I couldn't lie to myself and push everything away. It's about time I faced it all head on, and unchained by fear.

Exhaling a long breath, I leaned forward watching Shirou. He knew my eyes were on him, I could tell by the uncomfortable shifts in his body and hands. We were the only ones awake in the room, but neither of us spoke. I simply watched him and he never objected.

The rest of the crew trickled out of sleep one by one, breakfast full of mild talk. Finding a moment when I could pull Shirou aside and talk, Achilles interrupted at the most inopportune time. "Hey Cas."

"Yes?" I sighed, turning my attention to him.

"So... last night I saw Shirou go up and talk to you last night." I blinked at him. Did he somehow know? "Talk about anything special?"

I shrugged. "Not really... we just talked."

Achilles leaned closer. "Nothing special at all?"

"No," I furrowed my brow. "Why are you asking anyway?"

"Just checking." He moved back away, adopting a face of boyish innocence.

I narrowed my eyes understanding where this was coming from. "Achilles, just because I open up to you one time doesn't mean I'll go spilling every detail of my life to you."

The comment took Achilles by surprise, then he chuckled. "No that's— nevermind— okay you don't have to tell me." He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes leaving to intimidate a wall, and I was left staring at him confused. Shaking my head, I decided not to ask. I'd rather take as much attention away from that rooftop conversation as I could.

"Are you done talking? I was about to do something when you came up." I asked.

"Oh, well," his eyes swept the ground. "We can stop if you want, but I prefer if we don't." Achilles gave a quick glance at Diarmuid who was across the room staring into us. He was waiting for this conversation to end as much as I was, which is precisely why Achilles wanted it to never end. I was currently the only one keeping Achilles from Diarmuid's grasp.

With a sigh, I decided to make the sacrifice for Achilles. "Alright, fine. Keep talking." My eyes went to Shirou as Achilles brought up one random topic after the next. My eyes caressed his figure, his movements, last night still heavy on my senses, but I didn't shut it out. Instead, I delighted in the phantom warmth of his body around me.

Shirou caught my gaze, handling it with unsure hands. In the end, he chose to avoid it. I couldn't blame him, I shoved him into a tight corner with all this. My chuckle tasted bitter on the tongue. Funny, the moment I actually want to talk to him, he becomes the one avoiding me.

Turning my head away, I went to move my attention back to Achilles, but Fujimaru succeeded in snatching it first. He declared us back on the road, so packing up camp, we left.