When August Ends

She Walked Away Dead

"Hey sister,

The waters deep but blood is thicker.

So wake me up when it's all over,

When I'm wiser and I'm older.

All this time I was finding myself,

And I didn't know I was lost.

Oh, if the sky comes falling down,

For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do.

I'll try carrying the weight of the world,

But I only have two hands.

Hope I get the chance to travel the world,

But I don't have any plans."

- Anthem Lights Hey Brother Wake Me Up

Troys P.O.V.

     I can barely keep my grip on Grace. She is struggling to run back to Maya even though we both know she's gone. Maya's an Infected now and there's nothing we can do. I should have shot her when she re-animated. I was going to. But some small part of me can't do that to her even if she's not herself anymore. I also don't think Grace could have handled it. Right now, all I want to do is get us out of here and away from this place. I don't care that it's the perfect building to fix up and create a home out of. This place no longer glows with opportinuty it wreaks of death. A heavy kind of death. Not the kind I see day-to-day while I kill Infecteds. This kind of death is real and immeasurable. It has a weight to it and it's so heavy I can feel myself struggling to breath in it's presence. I drag Grace towards the car and she is weakly trying to get away as she sobs. I haven't seen her break down like this in a long time. Maya helped her get through a lot and they both toughened up a lot. It's not fair that they had to lose each other. It's not fair we lost Maya. It's not fair she had to go and the time I've spent with her lately has been hostile and sarcastic. We know how to push each others buttons. It's not like I was actually mad at her. She knows that. She knows...

     Grace and I reach the others and they are kneeling around Cat and Brandon. Everyone is hurting right now and I don't feel ready to add to that with the news of Maya's infection. How do I tell them? What do I tell them? First things first I think we need to bury our dead. The ones in our presence that is.

"Don't tell them yet. I will just not yet." I whisper to Grace and she just nods. I give Andrew the same message and he solemnly nods. The others look up  at us, Grace and I, my arm with my hand around her shoulders, tears streaming down her face, and Andrew following closely behind. Eveyrhting is so grim and bleak right now. I draw away from Grace. "We need to bury our dead." I announce.

     For a moment no one moves. And then Andrew steps forward. He goes to the van, opens the back doors, and pulls out a shovel. He takes a few steps away and then jabs the metal tip into the flesh of the earth violently. He continues doing this and no one moves for several minutes. The only sound is of dirt being ripped up and tossed aside. Then Stevo steps forward and grabs a second shovel. He joins Andrew and then KP does the same. Grace and Hannah approach Brandon and Cat's still bodies, and kneel beside them. Grace pulls out a hankerchief and begins cleaning brandons bloodied face. Hannah does the same to Cat. The others begin going around, tending to wounds and getting supplies and things back into the vehicles. I observe everyone moving about and doing something until Nikkos catches my eye.

     He is standing stone still, eyes trained on my face. He knows Maya's gone, he can see it in my face and I can see it in his. She was his protection. She's the reason this outsider joined our group. I didn't want him here. But now he's my responsibility all of a sudden. Maya wouldn't want him cast out and frankly I don't right now either. We need all the help we can get. I grab a bottle of water and approach the newest addition to our group. He tenses as if preparing for a fight, he doesn't know I've put that behind. I look at him a moment and he looks back warily. Then I hand him the water bottle.

"Glad you're here." I mutter and walk off to oversee everything.

***

     Two hours later and I watch as Stevo and Mace lower Brandon, wrapped in a white sheet, into one of the two graves. Next they lower cat who is wrapped in one of Maya's black blankets into the second. This time no one speaks before the burial. It's not that we don't want too. We can't. And with what I have yet to share it will only make matters worse. I glance behind me towards the corner of the wall that hides Maya's walking corpse. I hope she doesn't wander this way for everyone's sake. I help toss dirt over our comrades and when the deed is done, Grace sticks two makeshift crosses at the head of each grave. She carved each of their names on the diagonal stick of each cross. I notice she is holding a third that I know is for Maya but she's wating for me to share. I just can't find the right words. I find Andrew looking at me. I take a deep breath. Give me words, God.

"Today has been a heavy day... For all of us. We've lost more than I care to admit and it's not something we can easily bounce back from..." I trail off. I catch Andrew and grace eyeing me expaectantly. I don't know how to tell them Maya's dead without a harsh bluntness. I take a deep breath. "I don't know how to say this delicately, but Brandon and Cat weren't our only losses today." I pause and find everyones eyes on my with pained anxiety. I focus on Grace and then resume. "I regret to tell you all that Maya has been Infected.." I conclude and then I tear my gaze away from Grace. Everyone has a different expression. Rachel has a hand over her mouth. Stevo puts his hands on his head. Parker has a very pained expression. Liz just keeps flicking her lighter on and off. Hannah and KP sit on a log and put their arms around one another. Mace blinks repeatedly the way he does when he's trying not to cry. Morgan just laughs but not a happy laugh, a this-is-so-messed-up laugh. Nikkos stares at me coldly. JP just stares at me uncomprehending. Jack clenches his silver chains and glares at them hatefully. Andrew is clenching and unclenching his fists, and Grace is crying again but she jabs her third cross into the ground. Maya's name is carved artistically into it. All eyes remain on the three crosses representing three losses. Maya would know what to say right now. Even though she's no good with words she really is. She always had something to add that made sense and linked everything together. But she's not here anymore. Ahe's not here to tie everything together and help us all get over our loss. She's not here.

All because she walked away dead.