"I am a guilty man, because I fell for the one who held my biggest desires"
...
he began making his way down to my jeans. One by one he unhooked each button, pulling the trousers down to my knees.
"No underwear?" He raised his eyebrow at me, an ev...
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lipstick. necklace. mascara.
i applied them all separately and just as slow, contrary to my thoughts, which were flying through my head at an unfathomable rate.
I blinked and my body was by the door. my purse was in my hand and my mind still stuck in the previous events of this morning...
...
i gripped the wheel of my car, the feeling of my pounding heart making my head feel fuzzy.
am i doing the right thing? i wondered while i stared at my paling knuckles.
it took me another 5 minutes to finally step foot onto the desolate street, my leather coat wrapped tightly around my body, and another 10 to find the entrance to the diner.
the building was busy ; too busy for my liking. it was probably thought that i wouldn't want to cause a scene.
boy, did they not know me at all
my hand was on the door handle. there was no turning back now. i inhaled a deep breath, and pushed open the door.
i was greeted with the ringing of a bell. a few heads turned and stilled as i walked down the isles to booth 17, the sound of my Christian Louboutins making my presence known.
i saw her head lift from the newspaper she was reading, and she quickly placed it beside her on the table.
just as i was sliding into the red leather seats, a waitress quickly appeared and was placing down a mug of steaming black coffee. she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"can i get you anything else" she asked breathlessly, her eyes shooting back and forth between us.
"no thank you" was the small reply to send her on her way.
i watched carefully as the sugar was poured into the mug, then the milk, until finally the last step: a small taste.
eventually, it found its spot back on the concrete surface.
the silence between us was thick, and i was beginning to feel restless.
"enough wasting time... why am i here, mother?"
...
During the following weeks after my parent's unexpected arrival, my mother had been un-resistant in her attempt to contact me. this morning was our second time seeing each other in over 20 years. she told me everything that i wanted to know.
it was tough, to hear how well they had been living these past years, while for a lot of them i was stuck in what felt like an eternal hell. however, the past cannot be changed, and it is the present that i am grateful for, and the future i am looking towards.
i stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Elijah, Alek, Silas, Emma and Matteo laughing around the kitchen island while they threw back their preferred bottles of beer. i smiled, revelling in the feeling i felt throughout my heart for the people gathered before me.
