Running Out of Time

Chapter Thirteen

I lay awake in my bed for a long time after everyone fell asleep, and when I was certain no one else was awake, I snuck out of bed, sliding on my sneakers and a sweater. I padded to the back of my house, opening the door and sitting out in the back porch.

The night was clear, with no clouds covering the moon, whose light spilled freely down onto the back pathway of my house. No one disturbed me as I shut the door with a small click and sat down. It was a little chilly, and I hugged my arms around myself to preserve warmth.

Fall was arriving. Summer had passed. Everything from the summer had passed, and there were only memories to preserve it by.

It all felt so unreal. It felt as though any moment now I'd wake up and realize that it'd all been a dream. I rubbed my shoulder, imagining Lia's skin rubbing up against it as we sat together, staring out at the moon.

Halfway will never be enough. I'd lost myself in her so entirely, I'd wanted to give and give and give, that I'd forgotten what it was like to be me. But even so, so much of her had seeped into me, and so much of me had seeped into her, so it was difficult to find where one ended and the other started. Or perhaps, there was no start and end to it. Now I was forced to be alone again, independent, I felt a gaping hole where Lia had previously filled, a gaping hole that I'd opened for her to fill, even though we'd both known that our time was limited, that she'd only be able to plug it for a while, and now, from my foolish actions, I was scrambling to fill that gaping hole with something else, to reweave it with my essence instead of filling it with hers.

I tipped my head up to look at the moon, and Iwondered, across the miles and miles that separated us, if she was gazing up atthe moon too. I wondered if she'd also felt that gaping hole where I'dpreviously filled. Had she realized yet, that we were out of moves? Had sherealized yet, that our game had been banned and forbidden and stolen away fromus? Had she realized yet, that we had run out of moonlight?