Running Out of Time

Chapter Twenty

I did horribly on that quiz. My finals results came back, and they weren't so bad. However, that quiz would bring down my Art History average from an A- to a B+, and I couldn't sacrifice that. The only thing I could look forward to was Lia and I's fourth trip to Medford. We'd agreed on a week where I had Monday off towards the end of January, and everything was organized. However, I felt Lia's detachment more than ever. Whenever we called, which wasn't often, she seemed horribly distracted, kind of the way that Sophia had told me I was acting.

"Hey, Lia." I finally told her when she'd drifted into dreadful silence during another one of our calls. "Stop thinking about it, okay? We didn't get caught, and that's what matters. Next time, we don't even have to go outside together, if you really don't want to. I just want to be with you, and that's all that I care about."

She smiled wryly. "You make me sound so paranoid. But I'm not, though. It's like... the world is out to get us queers. And we don't have any power over it."

"Look, if they don't see us, they won't know, okay? And it's not like your classmate is shouting at the top of her lungs right now, 'Lia is gay, Lia is gay, go and get her gay ass!'." I soothed her, but there was, admittedly, an undercurrent of frustration.

She pressed her lips together and said nothing. I sighed.

"Well, I'm going to head to bed, alright? Good night. Don't forget what I told you." Don't forget how much I worship you, I wanted to say. But that was all I could muster up the courage and energy to say before hitting the end call button and crawling into bed.

***

On our fourth visit to Medford, Lia didn't arrive until late in the night. I'd unlocked the door by myself, because she'd given me the spare key. And then, when she shuffled into the AirBNB, her heavy makeup was a little smudged, and she looked tired.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing." She said tiredly, and plopped down at the dining table.

"Why did you come so late?" I asked.

She had no valid reason. I scooched over next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She let out a grunt in response.

"Are you sure?"

There was a long silence.

"Remember I told you I auditioned for a dance company?"

"Yeah. Did you not get in?"

"No."

I cocked my head to the side. "Lia, you can still audition for more. It's not the end of the world."

She lifted her head and looked at me. "Willow, I promised myself that if I got into this dance company, it meant I was still good enough to switch my major and follow my dreams."

I'm not good enough, her words told me. My throat suddenly felt very tight.

"Lia, you'll always be good enough." I whispered. "I've seen you dance. You couldn't have regressed too much in these years."

She snorted darkly. "I'm not as flexible. I've barely got both of my splits now. And I'm definitely not as strong. I've put on some weight, too, and my posture's gone to shit."

"You can train!" I protested. "You can work on yourself and get better. Heck, I'll even train you. I'll have my parents train you. I'm sure they'd be happy to help you."

She didn't look impressed. "I'm getting old. I missed too much time. I can't do anything about it, now. Besides, I'm halfway into my third year. I couldn't even switch my major now, I suppose."