Derry Girls Oneshots

Finders Keepers - Erin x James

James was rustling through every drawer and checking every hanger in his and Michelle's shared room. Michelle stopped painting her nails for a minute, glaring up at him.

"Christ, could you be a bit quieter? What are you even looking for, ballbag?"

"Sorry Michelle," he said, turning to face her "I'm looking for my grey jumper. Have you seen it anywhere?"

"Have I fuck? Haven't seen that in weeks. You probably left it round at Erin's house. You know, when you were riding her."

"Piss off, Michelle."

"You piss off! I just helped you!"

"No, you really didn't."

"We'll see about that, dicko."

James continued looking for his jumper, until a knock at the door distracted him. He heard Deirdre shout up to them.

"Michelle! James! Erin is here to see you!"

Michelle ran down to meet her, as James took one last glance at the contents of the wardrobe, before slamming the doors shut. He left his room, running to greet his girlfriend. But as he approached her, he noticed the jumper she was wearing looked suspiciously like the one he had spent ages looking for.

"Is that my jumper?"

"Nice to see you too, James."

"Sorry, hi Erin. It's good to see you."

"Thank you, James. Now was that so hard?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"What?"

Erin shifted nervously in her oversized jumper.

"Is that my jumper, Erin? Is it?"

"Maybe it was yours."

"Was?"

Erin giggled, pulling the jumper over her hands.

"Well, you left it with me. That means its mine now, James."

"That's not how that works!"

"It is."

"It really is," Michelle chimed in "In Erin's world, she owns that jumper now."

Erin burst into laughter. "Sorry James! It's just so comfortable! You know how soft it is!"

"I do, and that's why I need it back! That's my best jumper!"

But after only a few minutes of arguing, it was clear that Erin wanted to keep that jumper. James was disappointed, but he couldn't stay mad at his girlfriend. Despite James's constant attempts to remove his jumper from Erin, she stayed persistent in keeping it. She kept snuggling into it just to watch James's reaction. She smirked at James as she left the house.

"So I'm not getting my jumper back?" He asked.

"Finders keepers, James." She shot back, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"She just... walked away with it! I cant believe she actually just stole my best jumper!" James told Michelle.

"I was there the whole fucking time, dicko. I told you you weren't getting that back."

"How did you know that?"

"I left one of my hoodies 'round hers once. Never fucking got it back. You know why? Erin started wearing it. Same thing happened with Clare's lipstick. If you leave something with her, it's hers now. You know what she said when I asked her?" She made her voice higher to sound like Erin. "Finders keepers, Michelle."