my winter bear

Chapter 4: Coffee and Croissant

When the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. I couldn't say which of us was more shocked about my words.

"Appointment? You lie." He looked at me with an open mouth and confused eyes. "Why did you come with me if you have an appointment? I don't believe you. You must be lying. Did I do something wrong?"

"I don't know how I should feel in your presence. You make me feel comfortable in one moment and the next moment, I feel confused." I shouldn't tell him the truth but I want it deep in my heart. I want him to know why I wanted to leave. I'm sure he wouldn't understand me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable and awkward." He took my hand and let go when he realized that he took it. I felt an emptiness as he let go of my hand. We both looked at each other eyes. He didn't know what to say and neither did I. Why did I say I want to leave? I couldn't take the words back. What is said is said. No turn back.

"It's ok .. I-I don't know what to say now. Do you want me to leave you alone?"
"NO. Do YOU want me to leave you alone?" He almost screamed the "no".
"No." It was the truth, I didn't want him to leave. At least not now. He smiled. And I smiled too.
"Then let us get our breakfast. I have a Plan B. Let us grab something to eat and drink and sit in a park. The sun is coming out."
After I said "Ok." we went to the next best bakery and grabbed some pastries, a caramel macchiato for me, and a hot chocolate for him. We went to St. James Park and came under a big beautiful tree to rest. We had a beautiful view of the lake. All green areas and trees turned into autumn colors - red, orange, yellow.

He opened the paper bag and gave me the croissant. I had a special love for pretzel croissants. I made an "mmmmmh" sound after biting it. It was still warm and tasted so good.

"You told me you don't like coffee. Do you want to give this one a try? It tastes really good and the caramel will make you forget that it's actually a coffee. Trust me." I hold my coffee in both of my hands. It was still cold even when the sun shined. Today we had the typical October weather. I looked at him with the hope that he wants to try.

"I'm sure I won't like it. I tried coffee so many times and still don't like it." He took the coffee cup out of my hand and drank out of it and oh god, his facial impression was hilarious. I had to laugh.

"Hey, stob it. It tastes weird." He kept making the "Ew" face.
"Hahahahahhaa ok I will stop laughing. It's one of my favorite drinks. I can drink it every day. Sad that you like it but better for me. So I don't have to share it." I took some sips then I opened my cap and dipped my croissant in it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He looked at me confused.

"I'm dipping my croissant in it. I do it all the time since I was a child. My grandparents do it as well. I would say you should try it but you don't like coffee." I put the dipped piece carefully in my mouth and of course, this must happen again. Coffee ran down my chin. I got some coffee on my overall. What a clumsy bitch am I?

He laughed at me and wanted to wipe the mess with his hand. I grabbed his wrist before his hand land on my face. "Sorry." Actually, I didn't have to say sorry but I did. I let go of his wrist.

"Sorry too. You have coffee on your chin .. can I?" Oh, I have coffee on my chin .. I didn't know it. I want to say that. I mean, of course, I knew that coffee ran down my chin. I nodded and for another time I felt the warmth of his thumb on my lips and chin. And for another time I felt something flying in my stomach - butterflies.

Of course, he had to licked his dumb again. Why did he do that? He must forget that it was coffee he wiped away off of my chin.

"Mhmm, the coffee tastes better from your lip." W-H-A-T? I was shocked. I was really shocked.