i want you to be happy so i wont tell you how this absolutely kills me inside
how this consumes me wholly and entirely
how could i
and the screaming into my pillow so no one would hear
the puffiness in my red eyes afterward
i clutched onto the covers for dear life
as every bit of pain i had avoided overflowed
like water over the edge of a cup
i was totally devastated
i was ruined inside
"pain demands to be felt"
i remember those words rolling off your tongue so easily
and the silence that ensued explained everything
im sorry
god am i so sorry
and when you did it to me i was so engulfed by rage and anger and hatred
i said so much more than you did
but you leave
and when you walk out i swear
i can feel the shift in temperature
and i can see the sun already begin to set
and why am i here? where did the hours go?
its so cold
its so dark
i am always more
and you are always less
and i think we are both trying to figure out how that can be
because i know
we are both so tired
of going to bed
angry.
