so before you go

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⚠️TW⚠️ Mentions of suicide, Mentions of SH, depressing thoughts no happy ending.

If you struggle with any of these please dont read this can really be triggering and please talk to me, my dms are open,

This is a part two to "his last words" it's the after-math of Liu's death on Jeff and some other proxys
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After Liu's funeral, Jeff didn't leave his brother's room he had moved all his stuff in there and now stayed in the room. Jeff was so disparate to have his brother back, he wanted to die and be with Liu but never did kill himself because Liu had wanted him to live for the both of them and that's what he was gonna do. He couldn't however stop himself from harming himself, he blamed himself for his baby brother's death, he deserves it..... right? Jeff and Liu had learned to play the guitar together when they were kids, while Jeff didn't keep a guitar, Liu had he keptit by his bed, sometimes at night you could've heard Liu gently playing. As Jeff was in Liu's room he saw the instrument and decided to play, for good memories ya'know

I fell by the waveside like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself our every moment, I start to replace cuz now that there gone all I hear are the words I needed to say when you hurt under the surface like trouble, water running cold, well time can heal but this won't. So before you go, was there something I could of said to make your heart beat better, if only I'd have known you had a storm to whether

It was unfair to Jeff he had just gotten his brother back and then lost him again, nothing in Jeff's life that was good could stay, he just can't be happy can he. Jeff mostly was quite now unless he was talking to Slander, Toby or E.J that was because Slander is trying to help as well as Toby because he knows the pain of losing a sibling you deeply care for and E.J because he and Liu were dating and Jeff knew that they Liu and E.J had been soulmates, E.J had made Liu happier then he was before they had started dating, as those thoughts went through Jeff's mind he was still singing

So before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting,
It kills me how your mind can make you fell so worthless, so before you go.

Jeff sighed as he thought if he had spent more time with Liu maybe he wouldn't have committed

It was never the right time, whenever you called, went little by little by little until there was nothing at all our every moment, I start to replay,

Jeff remembered how when they were younger they would always have silly arguments about if Slanderman was real or not and how Liu teased Jeff after both started working for him he would always say "Ok Mr. I didn't believe in Slanderman until I started working for him" Jeff wished he could hear Liu say that just one more time, one more time. Jeff stopped singing for a moment he let out a soft cry but he counted to strum the guitar and sing

But all I can think about is that look on your face, when you hurt under the surface like trouble water running col, well some can heal but this won't,

Jeff would never heal from the death of his brother, everyone knew it and he knew it, he also knew Liu wouldn't want him to cry for him but he couldn't help it, Jeff spent most of his time awake crying in his baby brother's room but most of the time he was asleep in there, he counted on with the song because no matter how hard it was he was gonna finish it for Liu

So before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better, if only I'd have known you had a storm to whether, so before you go was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting, it kills me how you mind can make you feel worthless,

Liu hadn't been worthless and if Jeff had known he felt like that he would've tried to change his mind but Jeff hadn't known and he hadn't picked up on the signs that Liu wasn't doing good he hadn't noticed that he barely ate anymore or that he rarely came out of his room and when others asked about it Liu always said he was just super busy and everyone believed him and now Jeff blamed himself because he was the one who was supposed to catch on he was Liu's big brother and he hadn't been there for his little brother when he needed it the most, Jeff hated himself so much more now as he counted he was softly crying

So before you go, would we be better off by now if I'd have let my walls come down maybe I guess we'll never know you know, you know

Jeff had thought that if he hadn't put up the walls he did when Liu first became a proxy maybe Liu would have came to him for help

Before you go was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better, If only I'd have known you had a storm to whether so before you go was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting it kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

Jeff went completely silent and just sat there for five minutes just crying before he could finish the song he softly sang the last part

So before you go....

God it hurt but what could he do other than live for Liu, he already failed to protect the only person he truly cared for so he sat silently before getting up and putting the guitar down and finally went to sleep.

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Hay author here, so sorry this took forever to get out again im in school, and I kanda couldn't get to it and again if you ever need to talk I am open ok have a nice day, evening or night



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⏰ Last updated: Jun 09, 2022 ⏰

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